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in the future, i think i want another child

right now i have a 3 y/o and a 9 month old and my body can't physically carry another baby but once my kids are in school & the baby is around 10 i think i want to adopt a toddler from to tell dh?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Adoption

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Answers (10)
  • Continued..
    Adoption is a very heart wrenching process for everyone in the triad. The first moms- whether domestically or abroad, the adoptee will experience grief and loss at one point, and the adoptive parents must allow the adoptee to feel grief and to help them through it.
    I'm not trying to talk you out of IA- I've done it. It is an amazing way to add to your family, I just think that you need to start researching everything that you can now instead of in 10 years.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 3:24 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Why Korea? There are a ton of kids in the US that have no home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • well particulartly north korea if possible b/c the way they are treated

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I would just bring it up soon giving him time to think about it. Tell him it has been on your heart and you share DNA with 2 kids but would like to consider adopting a child because every kid deserves a home. When you are pillow talking just say..something strange has been on my mind and tell him...

    Answer by ria7 at 12:48 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It is expensive and difficult to adopt in the US or from another country. You are talking 10 years from now. A lot can happen during that amount of time. You may even be able to have another baby. If only one doctor has told you you can't have another baby you may want to get a second opinion. Several doctors told me I couldn't have children, I have 3.


    Answer by Gailll at 12:51 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • gaill i have no uterus i can't carry another baby

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Lol! Not at your uterus but how people assume all medical issues just need asecond opinion. I had people ask me if I knew how to have sex. Including my mom who suggested I wasn't doing it right. Sigh. Adoption can be expensive but you honestly find a way. I would just have a discussion about how you see your family and what you see it looking like in the future. It is never to soon to start planning and saving.

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:58 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • In 10 years there may not be a program in Korea...just to warn you. It would behoove you to begin researching now, so that you can learn some more about adoption, but specifically international adoption. Many programs shut down for restructuring or for good with little to no warning.
    For instance- 4 years ago, China was the most stable adoption program out there... we turned in our dossier in 9/05, were logged in on 10/10/05 and didn't receive our referral until 2/1/07- 17 months later. The up until then had been 6 months. The current wait for China is over 4 years for a referral from the time a dossier is put into their system.
    Many programs are focusing only on SN children now, so you need to research the program you are interested in and find out more about what is currently happening and the projections for the future.
    Mention to your Dh now- you both have to LOVE the idea of adoption-especially internationally.

    Answer by mcginnisc at 3:18 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • thanks everyone...except gailll

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Grr I SO very much hate the "Why not the US" question.

    MAYBE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE HER CHILD IS FROM HERE. You are looking for a specific child that is yours. Not any random kid on the street. When I saw my child in the photo album she was mine. It was like looking at my other (bio) children, just mine!!

    Seriously. It is difficult to adopt from the US. Unless you can afford the $ of a newborn, you can be asking for a heep of trouble. Kids are not given up in the US due to poverty. They are TAKEN OUT OF ABUSIVE HOMES. We had 3 bio kiddos before our 1st adoption and couldn't find a child in the US that was right for our family. A lot of them needed to be the only child or a the youngest or no animals could be around.

    When we went to pick up our daughter......we met our son. I have no doubts that some day that boy will be a part of our family!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on May. 26, 2010