Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it a normal feeling?

I am sad b/ce my DH doesn t hug me as he used to after I had the baby. We talk abt the baby in 95% of our conversations, the rest is just bla bla. I fell that our emotional life is empty. The only time when he hug me is when we r having an intercourse. I don t do it either b/ce I always was the one who spice up our relationship. Now that I m taking care of the baby 24/7 I think that I deserve to be spoiled and loved more than before b/ce I m giving love more than I m receiving.I told him that if the baby grows up we won t find anything to remember from our relationship he said that he s gonna try eventhough he doesnt know how and he keeps behaving like I didn t say a thing.Have u been in this situation before?this is our first baby and we ve been married for 2 years.?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • be specific with him, men cant always read between the lines. like tell him you love hugs, and feel like you need more of them. even if you cant get the night off from the baby, maybe a few hours, so you and him can go do something that you always enjoyed doing together. communication is vital for a relationship to work. and you have to put your relationship first. i love taking showers with my dh. when dd was little i would put her in her swing in the bathroom and we could shower together and play peekaboo with her at the same time.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:06 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • i am so sorry you are feeling this way. my partner and i went thru the same thing when out baby was born. for some reason we faught so much. we has been together for a few years too and usually we got along really good, not a lot of fighting. we used to snuggle and talk and everything all the time. then our baby came, even tho we were so happy, we faught. aftger a year of fighting we were about to call it off. :( and then we were like wait a second, we love each other and have a beautiful little girl. we had to had a long heart to heart. we took sometime to just be together and take in all that we have been thru for the last year plus pregnancy. we realized that we were both stressed and sleep deprived. life as we knew it was completely diff then anything that we experienced before. we went from 2 carefree lovers to a small family. becoming a parent is hard work, getting used to another perminent person in your life is..cont.

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:09 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • cont, from above--even harder work, and then add in no sleep, money stress, giving all the time. ya know? it is stressful. also we do not leave our baby with anyone, i am a sehm and my SO works full time. so we had to really look at how we could make life a little easier for the other person. i hate doing laundry, so my SO does it. My SO hates cleaning the kitchen, so i do that part (most of the time) we split the weekends, so if i sleep in on sat then she sleeps in on sunday. just little things makes a big difference. and we hug each other all of the time!! we make time to talk and snuggle. e learned to relax on each other, not take everything to heart. embrace the new life that we have, and to relax. life is good. the first year is the hardest. you are trying to adjust to having a baby and being a parent. things get easier. you guys needs to talk and love on each other. be understanding to the other persons needs.

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:15 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • cont from above---i promiss you it gets better, you just gotta stick it out. enjoy your baby and your SO. also if you are feeling depressed or anything then talk to your doc, they can help you with that so you can feel better. but most of all just remember that this is normal. you are ok. open up the lines of communication with your SO. come with understanding and compassion. and take some time for each other. hugs dont take long and kisses dont take long either. give yourself some love too. do something that makes you feel a little better everyday. i take my baby for a little walk, or i like to take a shower and use nice body soap. shave my legs, stuff like that. and give you SO the same. it will be ok. you are welcome to message me and we can talk if you want. good luck hun, you are not alone. i know it is hard but it does get easier. keep your chin up and go hug your SO!! and cuddle your baby!!

    Answer by Preggydyke at 1:20 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Yes, it IS normal. It takes men a while to separate out your new roles.

    TELL him what you want, no punches pulled and no being coy. Men don't understand coy.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:05 PM on May. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.