Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how do kindly not be friends with this person anymore

I recently gave a friend of mine a play kitchen for free. I was doing her a favor because she is tight on money. Many people replied to my freecycle ad but I decided she could have it. she bleeds lysol and asked me to sanitize it before giving it to her. No problem. I sprayed it and wiped it down. She wrote me an email that she was dissapointed in the condition. I missed many areas and she had to wipe t down herself. She wrote me exact words: "perhaps we have different definitions of sanitizing". I replied that she is more then welcome to return it. My goodness! the item was free, she knew it was used, I did go out of my way to clean it for her (which I would have done anyways)...she has me babysit her kids when we meet at the park for playdates, so I never really have a chance to play with my own son, and she never invites me to her home or accepts my invititations to go to my home..*continued*

Answer Question
 
Owl_Feather

Asked by Owl_Feather at 1:23 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 22 (13,272 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • *continued*
    I see her almost every week at library playgroup. I really don't consider her a friend anymore. my son likes her kids and I enjoy her company, but she was really rude to me and seems to take advantage of me when we meetup. I dont feel comfortable dropping her as a friend because I see her at the playgroups. it would be awkward afterwards...what would you do?
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:25 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • edit in post title: "how do I" lol
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:26 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Wow, that's pretty ungrateful of her. How about a thank you? How about you be stoked that you got something for free and clean it your self?
    If she had bought it at a thrift store she would have had to sanitize it herself.

    I would probably just cool off towards her. I'd be civil to her at playgroup but I wouldn't make any plans with her outside of that.
    A friend doesn't take advantage of another friend like that.
    Maybe some time apart will make her realize how awesome of a friend you are and how big of a spoiled brat she was being.
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 1:36 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • well,...if it were ME...ha im a person who(especially now that im pregnant,..ya know the raging hormones..lol) doesnt hold back when someone offends me. i would just slowly stop talking to her,.when she says hello, say hello back but then just walk away dont start up convo and if she starts up convo then just do one word answers and then walk away.

    tell her that the item was FREE and others would have surely appreciated more than she did obviously. tell her you find her ungrateful if she asks you why you guys arent hanging out as much.
    mywonderyears

    Answer by mywonderyears at 1:37 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It was FREE so she should have kept her trap shut. If it didn't meet her expectations, she could have cleaned it herself. I'd be civil to her when you see her but not overly friendly. I wouldn't extend any invitations to her. She sounds like a rude, ungrateful person, and I wouldn't want to hang around her.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 1:42 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Never offer anything again. If you do, and she asks you to clean it, say if she wants it bad enough she can clean the thing herself.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I think you've been nice enough already. But if you want to try to keep it civil so maybe your son can still play with her kids, just don't ask her to your house, since she would refuse anyway, and don't go out of your way for her anymore. She sounds like she just uses people anyway and that email was very rude. I'd back off and let her get the hint.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:50 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • yes I plan to remain civil. It's in my nature to be civil in most cases to avoid confrontation.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 1:54 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • when she starts "making you watch her kids" (my neighbors do that to me!! hate it!) wait till her kid is in trouble... or heading toward trouble and yell to her.. hey ____ look at your kid, they need you! she sounds completely ungrateful and a waste of time for you. make new friends at the library and start ignoring her.... see if she changes.. if not continue to ignore.. someday she will get it.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 1:57 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • update: she just wrote me an email. she said "to be honest it wasnt clean at all, but it is now :) if you want it back let me know."
    I replied: "I will gladly take it back and give it to someone wo will appreciate it was free"
    my reply wasnt too rude was it?
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 2:07 PM on May. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.