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how does that make me a selfish racist?

Me and my husband are planning on adopting ( we already have 2 children) ... we feel we have enough love and money that we can give a baby a wonderful life....

I was taking in an adoption group chat and when i said we are planning on adopting an African child ( we are white) ... alot of people got mad ... One woman basically asked me why we would want to adopt an african child opposed to a white ( european) or asian child... and I said I would be open to it but we have had better luck talking to ones dealing with one in Africa.... and that I had looked at some of the photolistings of the children and they are adorable... So now since " I only want to adopt an african child because I think they are cute" I am a selfish racist.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • Uhhhhhh........I'm having a hard time figuring out how that makes you a selfish racist. lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I'm having trouble comprehending this one too. It rather sounds like they're the racist ones, not you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • i agree with anon. adoption is not selfish.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:07 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Let it roll off your back. Love your baby and good luck with the adoption process. All children are beautiful in my eyes but I think black babies are absolutely adorable. Some people on here just love to get a good fight going. No one wants to be called a racist and that word is used way to easily. People throw it around to intimidate others and they need to think before they write it. It is hurtful and I understand why you are not comfortable with what was said.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Well, I do NOT think you are a selfish racist, but I will play the devil's advocate.

    Perhaps this woman felt that you were objectifying these children, making assumptions about needs in Africa.
    Some people think that rather than bringing them here, to truly help African children people should adopt African families and orphanages and keep children with their societies.
    Some people are concerned about the extremely dangerous and terrible human trafficking problem in Africa and around the world. I am very sorry to say (though the adoption agency probably already counseled you on this) that it's a problem with international adoption too.
    Some people think that people who "choose" children from a certain background, rather than "whoever is available" (although I know it doesn't really work that way) are selfish for wanting "a certain kind of baby". I know that that is not what is going through your head but some people assume.
    MamaZoya

    Answer by MamaZoya at 3:31 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I suspect they were objecting to the objectification aspect, wanting a black baby because they're cuter than the white or asian babies.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 4:38 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I think Americans should adopt American kids. Alot of people adopt from overseas because its cheaper and easier. If you like black babies,adopt an American one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I don't think you are selfish or racist but it doesn't sound right to me that you would adopt from a country because you saw pictures and they are so cute, they aren't puppies. As an adoptive parent myself, I think wanting to adopt a child is an amazing thing but being open to any child needing a home regardless of race is what I think the purpose is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • OP HERE

    Anon: 5:37 -- alot of times adoption in america the birth parents can fight to get the kids back.... it would be very very very hard for someone in another country ( especially a very poor one) to do that

    Anon 6:37 -- I didnt mean that I was adopting from there because of how cute they are.... We have tried alot of different places... but this certain one ( that is in Africa) is the one we are having the most luck with.... and then I said on that particular site of the agency they have a photolisting....and all of the children look cute .. I didnt mean that I just want a black baby because they are so cute...becasue of course ALL babies are, no matter what color they are.... But I guess the possibilty that one of those kids in one of those pictures, could be my baby... maybe they do seem cuter...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • "it would be very very very hard for someone in another country ( especially a very poor one) to do that"

    So you want to adopt from a country where the birth parents have no rights?!?!?

    That doesn't make you a selfish racist, but I seriously question the amount of consideration you've put into this decision. Many people in poor countries leave their children with the church or orphanage or relatives in the hope they can get their babies back when they can feed them. And you want one of these children because, due to flaws in their justice system, they have no recourse to get that child back home?

    Have you really thought about what you wrote? I hope that was something that came out wrong because it sounds terrible.
    MamaZoya

    Answer by MamaZoya at 3:51 AM on May. 27, 2010

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