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Were you surprised to find how difficult it is to be a good mom and a good wife?

Marriage is hard, but marriage and kids is way harder. We were married for years before having kids, so I can really compare marriage before and marriage after kids. It seems like there isn't enough of me to go around. There is more responsibility on us as parents, which in turn creates more tension. Then there is the lack of privacy/intimacy with little ones under foot.

Am I the only one who finds balancing mom and wife to be challenging?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think we all find it challenging at times. I have the husband and 2 kids and I just found out yesterday that I am prego with #3! So I'm really worried how I will be able to divide my time...
    rlhall1980

    Answer by rlhall1980 at 4:21 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It is hard at times for everyone, but for me it more emotionally hard than it is physically
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 4:23 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • i think the relationhip is a challenge...mommying is natural
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 4:26 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Yes I was clueless about marriage when I got married, I was also clueless about being mom when I got pregnant. Luckily for me I have really learned alot through going to church. Once I started living by the word of God things got much easier:)
    newmama008

    Answer by newmama008 at 4:27 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Domonique, that is funny, I find it the opposite...I mean, mommying a baby is natural and gooey and warm and fuzzy, but mommying a 3 and 5 year old that fight constantly? LOL, dealing with those crazy people is not natural! But OP, to answer your question, yes, the stress of having kids definitely affected our marriage, but I find as they get older things are getting better for our marriage. Dealing with babies and nursing and up all hours of the night is rough on a marriage for sure.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:30 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I was married 9 years before we had children. And our lifestyle was drastically different then! And my marriage did suffer because I didn't balance things well. 9 years later we are much better! But it is a bit of a challenge to balance it all!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:33 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It is a challenge. We were together 10 years, married 4, before we had our DD and I'm still trying to figure out how to balance both. I'm currently a SAHM and when he gets home from work I just want to hand over baby duties and collapse. I hate that I have to "force" myself to remember to be attentive to him and "us" too. I'm hoping over time it will get easier.
    Chloesmama10

    Answer by Chloesmama10 at 4:37 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I've been with DH for three years. (Still shocks me that it's been that long Ha!) We've only been married for a year and a half. On our one year Anniversary he proposed and around that time we found out we were expecting. Though I wasn't married for very long before my son was born I still can compare. I think marriage is no different then any other serious relationship when you live with that person. Therefore, with that said I find that marriage is a lot harder then parenting. However, the only hard part of a marriage is initially finding that middle ground to stand on together. That has been the biggest challenge for my husband and I. That honestly didn't start to be apparent until we got married .. which maybe should've been a red flag?

    Raising children is easy to me. It's tiring, stressful, and hair pulling at times, but generally easy. The marriage has more rocks then it does water .. soo that to me is the hard part.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:54 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It's not that hard for me. I'm in a very good relationship and we hardly fight at all. We have an even balance of time alone and time with our son. I work while my son is in school and I'm off work before he gets out of school so I'm able to make money and spend the whole evening with my son and fiance. We of course have our bad days but that is life and I find that having a routine is very helpful. I keep a clean house and things organized, showertime, homework time and story time at night. Then after my son goes to bed its adult time.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 5:28 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I think it is the hardest and most under appreciated job in the world. It seems I am not asked to do anything for my family. I am just simply expected to cook, clean, feed, take care of everyone. Even when I am sick, in pain, exhausted, pregnant, pmsing or whatever it is just my job. I noticed the other day while I was sitting in the living room trying to pay some bills while my husband was playing video games and the baby was cryng in his crib, my husband looked at me and said, " hey go get the baby and get me a beer on ur way back" so nonchalant like that is just my job. Please dont get up husbands let us do it.
    knctrnl21

    Answer by knctrnl21 at 11:13 PM on May. 26, 2010

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