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favoring one child over the other, are you a favorite?

I am not. I am the oldest and my mother has always treated me second best. She helps my sister out all the time and see her kids. My sister doesn't visit unless she needs to borrow something or needs money but she still will watch her kids so she can go party. She doesn't even have a job now and when my boyfriend lost his job she lost hers too from coming in late. My mother tried to help her out finicanilly and didn't even care that my boyfriend lost his job also and we live off his money only. It was her grandkids that were suffering from his job loss but my she made sure my sisters kids had things. She would always brag about a new job that my sister got since she changes job every month and laughed when my boyfriend was still uneployed. Now he has a job but I think she secretely wishes he would loose it because my sister doesn't have a job. I have never did anything to be treated like this and don't understand why.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on May. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • My mother doesn't really like either of her kids. But my mom doesn't really have a steady favorite... When I was a kid and a teen, my sister was the favorite because I have never been big on rules and limits... So I was a "screw up" because I could think for myself, while my sister followed the norm. Now that I am the one with kids and my sister is the "screw up" because she's not married and is FINALLY thinking for herself - now I'm the least disliked. But there still isn't a "fav" really... My mother will always be her own favorite.

    As for reasons, there aren't always reasons, it could be something as simple as she didn't have the chance to bond with you the way she did your sister. I'm dealing with that now because I didn't bond with my oldest and now he's 4 and we are just starting... But it could be something much different... Chances are you'll never know - so don't let it get to you...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:49 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It depends on which of us children you ask!

    My opinion: my brother was the favorite, because he was the only boy.

    My brother's opinion: I was the favorite, because I was the oldest and did the best in school.

    My sister's opinion: my brother and I were tied.

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:21 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • My sister Julie (eldest ) as she was kidnapped by my father and was gone for 2 years. When my mom got her back they were really close after that. We grew up knowing she was the favorite but we understand why.

    Answer by psalms3115 at 7:58 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • I think I might have been my mom's favorite, but I was also the only girl, my step-father hated me, and my mom's mother didn't care for her growing up.
    I know I was my Grammy's favorite because she was an only child and then only had 2 sons. I used to get to spend the weekends with her when she got off of work and she spoiled me rotten. Not with sweets or allowing me to be spoiled, but by pampering me like a girly-girl and spending quality time with me. It was my time away from my 4 brothers and I knew I was so very loved and cherished by her.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 4:00 PM on May. 29, 2010

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