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Has anyone gotten married and later experienced this type of thing?

I figure that I'm alone in this situation, but....

Has anyone gotten married, then the marriage basically fell apart and you ended up just being friends with you SO, and as far as the two of you were concerned you were separated. Then, out of the blue you meet the perfect person for you, your "soul mate," whatever you want to think of them as? What did you do?

(OK, so things are a little more complicated than this, but this is the general situation.)


Asked by Anonymous at 6:31 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think that since you and your husband have mutual feelings then just divorce him and be with the man of your dreams! You can't force something that isn't there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Nothing is out of the blue; it's just in the background waiting to coming out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Yup. My ex husband and I are still friends to this day but we divorced and I married my perfect husband, Orion.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 6:39 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!! I am in this VERY situation. I feel like I have been dating my soul mate for the past year now. We are both married to the "wrong" person, we are both separated from our spouses, been seeing each other for a year now, and have NEVER hit a dull moment yet! We grew apart from our spouses. He found me on facebook and it's been nothing but glee since. We don't know what's going to come, but soon enough, I guess divorces from our spouses? We don't want to get married again (well at least for a while ne way) but we are IN LOVE!!!! I feel so bad because my hubby wants to be back with me soooo bad, but I have NO attraction with him whatsoever. We both can't wait to go public with our new relationship, but for obvious reasons, we are waiting. Ours is more complicated also, but this is the just of it. We spend almost every weekend we can together, and STILL can't keep our hands off of one another.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Soul love vs love, etc. It's all just a physical response. For many people, the romantic warm fuzzies go away and you settle into a roommate state once you start living together and seeing each other in your worst moments instead of the good impressions we work to display while still dating. If you leave your husband for this man, you'll eventually get to the very same cross roads you're at now. You have to tend a marriage like you do a garden, without tending both will wither and die.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 6:50 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • OP: To further elaborate on my personal situation, the person that I met is now a friend of mine and my husband, and he ended up moving in with us for a few months because he needed a place to stay for a while. My husband knows about us and the feelings between us. Over the past few months, we've definitely seen the good, the bad, and the ugly with one another, and we still want nothing more than to be together. I've never been so happy and at peace... My husband never made me feel that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • OP: We've been working on our marriage for over 2 years. We eventually came to the conclusion that we're really just best friends and not in love with one another or attracted to one another anymore, and haven't been since about a month after we got married.

    This is not a one sided thing, this was a mutual decision because those feelings that we thought we had when we were younger, weren't quite as real as we'd hoped. His theory is that we both wanted so desperately to start our own lives that we resorted to marriage with the first person that we had feelings for, and I can't say I disagree. (We got married when we were under 20.)

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Ask that man to leave and you two work on your marriage for the next few years and don't have any contact with that man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Given your track record so far, how can you be sure you're not just making yet another in a series of bad relationship decisions? Maybe you should get to know yourself before you launch into another relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 AM on May. 27, 2010