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What can I do? I'm about to lose it..

Me and my SO have a 7 mo. old. Ive done 99% of everything since she was born, even threw surgery and serious illness..SO sits outside either alone or with his friends all day and gets mad if I ask for help..Today, i had to run to the store and asked him to watch her for a few minutes..He WAS taking a nap and said he cant and when I started raising my voice slightly about how he woke me up from my nap today he called me a "nasty a**"..If I'm so nasty, why was he trying to get some last night?! Oh wait, EVERYNIGHT!!
He wanted this baby..he purposely got me pregnant and we had this whole plan when i was pregnant..Nothing stuck..


My question is, how do I get it threw to him? How do I get his help? Im tired of feeling like a single mom because if Im going to do everything by myself, I want to be alone..This is the last chance for him so if anyone can give me some good ideas on how to get him to help that would be appreciated.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on May. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • he called me a "nasty a**"..

    I'm sorry. You are with a little boy, not a man.
    Don't expect any miracles.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • My husband barely helped when the kids were infants BUT he made alot of money and I was SAHM so I just dealt with it..If he is just sitting around all day that you should give him an ultimatum, either get a job making good money or help out 50/50 or you will gone!

    kjfamily

    Answer by kjfamily at 9:10 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • When you are getting along and you are not upset would be a good time to have the conversation. Sounds like you've both drifted into some bad communication habits. Ultimatums, names, etc., aren't going to do anything except make the situation worse. If you really want to try to work things out, you're going to have to let go of your anger and sit down and get clear about your expectations. When you talk to him, keep in mind what your goal is, which is to get him to pitch in. Be specific about what you expect, ask him what he thinks he should be doing, etc. Be clear that this baby is his responsibility too. If he's not going to be receptive to adult conversation then you need to decide what's best for you.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:14 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • id move on, if you have to get him to help then i wouldnt even appreciate it
    dont baby him, go on with out the dead weight
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 9:16 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • figaro8895


    i couldn't have said it better :)

    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 9:16 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • If he is just sitting around all day that you should give him an ultimatum, either get a job making good money or help out 50/50 or you will gone!

    I agree with this..and stick to your decision!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • My SO was guilty of this with our firstborn. It honestly all depends on what the "breaking" factor will come down to. He was working hard, and I was the one doing most of the work. I was understanding at first... struggled to understand, became extremely annoyed, and finally our breaking point was a big fight resulting in me confessing that I felt like I was a single mom and I might as well be. That really stuck in his craw. It might also be that he's just not comfortable with her just yet. With our son, my SO is a lot more comfortable in changing his diapers and taking/giving him baths, etc, but absolutely cringes at our daughters "girly" parts, but he'll grudgingly do it. Talk to him when you're not so irritated and he's calm - and attempt for it to stay that way, and try not to cast blame on him, but both of you. Maybe you'll find the "breaking point" and it'll all work out. Best of luck to you. :]
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 9:35 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • There is nothing you can do to get it through his thick skull that he has to help because he is sat on not assisting you with his child, so he need to go. Why keep someone around who won't support you? You should be able to take a nap and go run errands while he help with the baby. Does he work? If not, then he have to go now, I would not deal with him, he seem very childish and selfish. Calling you "nasty a.." was not appropriate behavior, and also disrespectful, if he has no respect for the mother of his child, then to me he is a waste. It can be pretty lonely being single, but after reading so many posts on some of these sorry men, I'm glad I'm alone and drama free.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:36 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • sounds like mine and my child is 2. only he helpeda lot when he was a baby, i guess it was still cute and fun then, but now, my son can be coloring the walls orange and his dad wont budge to stop him!
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 9:47 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • nothing will change him (you can't change other people).... if you're sick of it then make a plan to leave and be a single mom by yourself instead of a single mom with a deadbeat dad. that's what i'm going to do once i save up enough money
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on May. 26, 2010

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