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Is it okay to uninvite guests to your wedding? I posted this in another section as well.

I'm getting married in about 10 days and as we get ready to pay off the final expenses, we realize we simply can't afford everyone we have invited. For some reason, we have BLEW through our wedding budget and savings. Also, there were extra expenses that we didn't consider when we invited so many people. Now, if we try to pay for everyone we invited, we will be completely broke and I won't even have money to get my hair and nails done. Part of me just want to pay the penalty and not even have the wedding b/c neither side of our families has helped pay for it. Not even given $5 for the cause. When we 1st planned this expensive wedding, we didn't think anyone from his family would come but all of a sudden, everyone wants to come and they even invited people I have never met. They wanted to invite more people last week and I had to say no, sorry. Even that was hard, so having to uninvite people will be extra hard for me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • You cannot uninvite. Go without getting your hair and nails done...your fiance fell in love with YOU, not some Barbie doll. You can do your own.

    If you can make changes in the reception: Make it a no=host bar for anything not served with dinner. See about changing the dinner menu to something less expensive.

    If you can make changes in the flower order, do so...no one remembers the flowers.

    Perhaps a suit for him rather than renting a tux.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:19 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • it is INCREDIBLY rude to uninvite someone you formally invited with a mailed invitiation
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:54 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • I dont know how you can univite people. You may have to just get a loan and pay for the extra people. Can you borrow the money from your parents or get a small loan at the bank. i wouldnt think the embarrassement would be worth $1000 or less. I guess it would depend on how many you want to univite and how much $ you are talking about. I think it would be really akward to univite people. Try to work it out.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:55 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • It's tacky to "uninvite" guests, you should always assume that everyone you invite will be attending when you're budgeting. If they are bringing people that you didn't invite, it is very appropriate to let people know that you had not planned on additional guests and you need to stick to those invited only.

    Beyond that, why on earth would you expect anyone from either side of your family to pay for any part of the wedding? Did they offer and then back out?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:58 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • You cannot uninvite someone you sent an invitation to. However, you do need to tell those people that they cannot, under any circumstances, bring extra, uninvited people. You're going to have to bite the bullet on this, you invited people, they get to come - just not the extras!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • You can't uninvite sorry I have to say no on this one. maybe the people who weren't invited in the first place should be barred from attending.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:01 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • I like what Scuba had to say; You can't un-invite those you invited, but you are well within your right to say they can not bring people or people that you did not invite are not welcome. You have to assume everyone invited will show up when budgeting. You're invited guess are not responsible for your budgeting errors. You will just have to deal with it, get a loan, work out a payment plan with the vendor, communicate with your vendor, etc.. Perhaps some kind of financial agreement can be made with them. Either way it's NOT your guest fault and they should not be punished by being uninvited.
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:04 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • It would be unbelievably rude to "un-invite" people because of your bad planning. If you don't want them to bring people you don't know, tell them, but don't un-invite someone because you weren't smart with your money.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:15 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • OP here:

    I figured most people would say it's rude and I prob would have said it also if I was to answer that question. My car is paid off so worse case scenario, I was thinking we get one of those ridiculous title loans. We did it last year and I hated it but it's our go to when we need extra cash.

    Something I left out the question is that another reason we are running out of money is because I was the only one working for a while and suddenly about a month ago fiance got a job and I had to quit. His job doesn't pay nearly as much as I was making in this beginning part. We had to wait 3 weeks for his 1st check and it was nearly nothing. So I've been paying bills from our savings which may be why we ran out so fast.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • I'm so glad we stayed within our wedding budget. Yes, it's rude as hell to uninvite. Are there any other expenses you could cancel? For instance, instead of buying waay to much alcohol...we just bought a keg & about $100 of wine. We didn't even do liquir. We told everyone that if they want liquor, they will have to bring their own. You can cancels your fancy cake & get one from the grocery store & decorate it yourself with flowers (i did this & it was the most beautiful cake EVER) there are plenty of ways you can slash the budget. You don't NEED to get your toe nails done, have a girlfriend do it for you. You can easily give yourself a great pedicure at home.

    I certianly did not get my hair done, that is a waste of money too. Out of everyone coming to your wedding, you don't know one that can do hair? I had at least 3 girls to choose from to do my hair for free. You need help from friends girl!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:40 AM on May. 27, 2010

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