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Is it okay to uninvite guests to your wedding? I posted this in another section.

I'm getting married in about 10 days and as we get ready to pay off the final expenses, we realize we simply can't afford everyone we have invited. For some reason, we have BLEW through our wedding budget and savings. Also, there were extra expenses that we didn't consider when we invited so many people. Now, if we try to pay for everyone we invited, we will be completely broke and I won't even have money to get my hair and nails done. Part of me just want to pay the penalty and not even have the wedding b/c neither side of our families has helped pay for it. Not even given $5 for the cause. When we 1st planned this expensive wedding, we didn't think anyone from his family would come but all of a sudden, everyone wants to come and they even invited people I have never met. They wanted to invite more people last week and I had to say no, sorry. Even that was hard, so having to uninvite people will be extra hard for me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:53 AM on May. 27, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Tell his family that they cannot invite people that you haven't invited yourself. Stand up for your wedding, tell them they cannot bring guests that you haven't invited. I had to do it for my wedding. A couple of kids showed up that I didn't know. They were friends with my husband's family and I told them they had to leave. Our wedding was at a pavillion by the lake, so there were a bunch of strangers around at the lakeside. But these kids came right up and sat down and I'm like "No, that's not happening." Stand up for yourself and tell them they don't invite the guests, you do, and that you don't want people there you don't know.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:35 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • No, you cannot uninvited people that you originally invited. That is in poor taste.
    Just suck it up and do you own hair and nails.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • No you can't unvite people thats completely rude. We got married 11 days ago. About 2 months before the wedding My now husband's aunt called and asked why we didn't invite so so and so. So of course being the annoyingly loving and try to please everyone person my husband is he invited them. We only invited 100 originially the night of our wedding 140 showed up!! Only 2 people said No on the RSVPS. The best part was when his one cousin who I didn't want to invite anyway broked 3 glasses why she was there and puked all over herself.
    GOOD LUCK.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • You cannot uninvite people dthat you already invited.....but you can tell them not to invite others!!!!! Unless your invite said " and guest" or something to that effect, they shouldn't be bringing other people with them to your wedding, especially if you don't know them.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 10:02 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • You can't uninvite but I am having trouble understanding how guests can simply invite other people to YOUR wedding. Our invites went out to specific people and the response cards clearly stated if it was a family of X amount of people or ONE person plus ONE guest. Then they had to go a step further and choose a dinner selection and return it with their response card. I just don't understand how guests would think it was ok to invite more people to an "expensive wedding" which obviously needs a final head count prior to the event. I mean you have a contract, right? Tell then it's in the contract that they cannot bring extra people. This situation bugs me...
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:10 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • No you absolutely cannot uninvite people to your wedding. And on a side note - you shouldn't have expected ANYONE to pay for your wedding, even in part. You plan a wedding within YOUR MEANS and if family would like to contribute then that's a lovely and thoughtful gift. No one "owes" you anything toward your wedding, not even your parents. To say you want to cancel it because no one helped financially? That's immature and kind of crazy. If you're over 18 then you're an adult and should pay your own way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • OP here:

    Yeah, I fell for the "why didn't you invite so and so?" and "there's another cousin who wants to come." Cousins and people I don't even know! Also, a few people wasn't sure if they would be able to get off work and RSVP'd no originally. So in fear that I wouldn't even meet the minimum count, I invited long distance friends and acquaintances. Then those people who wasn't sure if they could come all of a sudden were able to come and boom, the guest list explodes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • FWIW, you will receive large amounts of money from all these people for gifts...I'm sure you can borrow a bit for hair and makeup from a friend or use a credit card or something to tide you over under you cash all their checks. You can not uninvite people, especially this close to the date...
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 10:26 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • You will get money as gifts. Can you talk to your mom and ask to borrow enough to get your hair and nails done. Tell her you'll pay her after the wedding.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:29 AM on May. 27, 2010

  • OP here again:

    No we didn't expect our families to help pay for the wedding but I am pissed that they haven't even offered since they are so excited about coming and want to invite all of THEIR friends. When we 1st announced we were getting married last year, people from both sides of our families didn't seem to care. No one ever pulled for us in our relationship. So when we found ourselves with a little bit of cash, we planned an expensive wedding at a nice venue for our mutual friends. Then when I brought my mom to the menu tasting with me, she saw that it would be a nice wedding, the real deal, so she wanted to make sure people we invited all these random people that we originally wasn't even thinking about inviting. And as for his family, they are just now meeting me so they want to come in my opinion, just to see what it's going to be like.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on May. 27, 2010