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Anyone else have a good relationship with BMs/1st wives?

I am dating someone right now and its headed to marriage. He has 4 kids from his 1st marriage and has a great relatinship with her. And well, so do I. I cant explain it. We have been dating since November or so and she has taken me and my kids in like her family too!! Even her parents treat us like family. I mean this past weekend we all went to the zoo for their DDs 18th birthday and had a blast. She is adding my kids to her pool pass for the summer. I just hear a lot of negative things about BMs and how there is no contact or relationship so I wondered how odd my situation was.

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Asked by jajumommy2000 at 12:53 PM on May. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (99 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I had a good relationship with my children't step-mother. She couldn't have children and was very good to my children. She made my ex step up and be a better father. It is so much easier when everyone gets along.


    Answer by Gailll at 12:56 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Exactly. My bf is a wonderful father. He is so involved and I love it. She said that she was glad that he was with me. The kdis love me, I care and love them, and I talk to her and share. I mean my kids have even spent the night with her kids at her house!!! She said his 2nd wife was not so nice, kids didnt like her and she wouldnt even let her have her phone number in case of ERs.

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 1:00 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • im personally not in that situation but my parents are divorced and i have a step mother and a step father, my mom and dad get a long good now and my mom will even come to my dads house and eat dinner with all of us. My stepfathers son's BM is also really nice too and her and my mom get a long great, she comes to all of my sons partys, and my step brothers partys and everyone gets along great. its nice. its great for the kids (and for me).

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:26 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I wish I was.But I am not.It only causes problems and heartache for my step daughter.Her mom never liked me.I got blamed for all her problems.And I met my husband after they were divorced for 2 years.So just be glad and thankful.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:32 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • My step D's mom and I get along very well for the most part. DH and she, were never married but they do share a 14 yr old DD. She and her husband take my girls all over the place with them. They took them to Myrtle Beach for 10 days over spring break. They take our two litte ones to the zoo etc. I am glad we have a good relationship...make it easier on everyone esp the kids. Kudo's

    Answer by salexander at 2:21 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • It is a little odd, very rare. Great that all of you can be adults and not blame each other for meaningless random crap that comes up. It will make it so much better for the kids too. I was a "divorced kid" and trust me, it makes a big difference if your steps get along with your parents. If they don't get along, or just disrespect each other, it makes it hard for the kid to respect the steps, and just creates a lot of needless tension. Great job!!!

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:17 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Ok cool. Everyone I know tells me how odd it is and to watch out for the BM, lol. But she is really nice, although a tad pushy...But so am I. I have a feeling it may be because I am not the one right after their divorce. I mean they get along so well, when he moved out of his 2nd wifes home, his 1st wife and her DH let bf move in with them and their kids!!! Yea, its odd, lol.

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 4:23 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • YEp!!!BM and I live together and raise our kids together!!! SO is not around right now(not by his choice!!!)so we help each other!!!! It is great for the kids and us we get along and are pretty much best friends!!!!

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 4:36 PM on May. 27, 2010

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