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Baby issues..

After my Dd was born me and SO agreed next year around march we would start talking about having another. He isn't all that great help wise with our first so Im wondering if the rest of this story has to do with that..well, his mom is trying to talk us into having another really soon but I want to wait until next year so she said "okay but try and make it a birthday baby for me!" Her birthday is in december so if I got preg. in April, Id be due in december. I joked about it with SO and said "well we have to get pregnant next april for your mom and give her a birthday baby!!" and he said "No thanks, I dont have $3million for another baby" It blew my mind. The most we spend on DD is $60 a month. We have everything we need for her. We still have so much time for this but we agreed on something and I dont understand what changed..CONT!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Do you think he just doesnt want more kids? He's always making "if you want another you gotta do this” or “im gonna get you pregnant” jokes a lot so Im at a loss why he wouldn’t still want to talk about another. I take care of all baby duties and spend the majority of the money on her..Any ideas? He wont really talk to me about it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • It takes a lot more than $60/month for a baby....
    You say he won't talk about it but that's the only way to understand what's going on. Maybe it's money. Maybe it's too soon for him to share you with another baby. You gotta talk about it.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 1:55 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • You don't say how old your baby is. The World Health Org recommends all women wait at least 3 years before ttc. It takes that long to recover so that your body is healthy and it's good enough for your baby. You may have a lot of time yet.


     

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:56 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Is it really important to get pregnant next year for you. Or can you wait for another year or two. Wait for the first one to get out of diapers and off the bottle. Maybe he will be ok about having another then.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:57 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • We stocked up on alot of things before baby was born and I BF so diapers and wipes are all the expenses we have right now other than health care. So $60 is our average a month on her

    Its not really important, it was just an agreement we made and it bothers me. I dont care if we have one 5 years from now, just dont say something if its not what you want.

    And baby is 8 months..We were just going to talk about it next year..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • as your child gets older you will start spending more on her. keep that in mind. and if you are stressed at all from doing all the baby duties he may see that. you can not force him into wanting another child. and your body may not be ready yet. it does take a long time for your body to go back to "normal" when you have a baby. give him some time. i promise it will be easier to have 2 if one is potty trained. just enjoy being a family of 3 for now.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:07 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I notice that my DH is more of a "live in the moment" kind of guy, while I like to plan. I planned out how far apart our kids should be before I was even pregnant with the first, we want to move and I have plans swimming around in my head about that. Sometimes he says something and I immediately think about how it doesn't fit with the plans, and really all he is doing is bringing something up. Anyway, it kind of sounds like your husband is like mine. Maybe the best thing is to just wait until next year and then talk about it and see if you both feel ready, and if not then talk about when you will revisit the idea of another baby. Babies change everything in your life and while most of those things are good it is still a huge adjustment and maybe your DH just feels like he has had to give up a lot and needs some time. Maybe he feels pressured about another baby while still getting used to the first. Just give it time. GL!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:15 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • If she breast feeds and stays home with her baby $60 sounds accurate.
    Its probably just still too early hon- give him more time. He may come around!

    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 2:36 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • The guy that im with has had a vasectomy and he always jokes that he's gonna get me pregnant or that he wants me to have his mixed baby. One night he even called me and said I'm pregnant lol. Idk guys like to joke like that for some reason. Start talking about it again in february maybe give him some time to think about it on his own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on May. 31, 2010

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