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at my wits end!!!!!!

my daughter will be 4 in august, yet she is still in pull ups although they are no more than diapers to her so i dont know why i waste the extra money on them. she pees her pants and poops her pants on a daily basis, i would say more often than she uses the toilet. then she doesnt tell me when she poops and tries to clean it up herself and gets it all over the bathroom. i cant take it anymore, i have a 1 year old who is obviously still in diapers and im sick of changing two sets of diapers all day long. head start wont take her becuase she isnt potty trained. i have been trying for 2 years! what more can i do? now she is going to miss out on the benefit of head start because she wont use the toilet!!!! i am going insane. there is nothing physically wrong with her that makes it so she cant make it. she does have some developmental delays which may have something to do with it. has anyone else had trouble trainiung a child who


Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My son is disabled (has Down's). We have had him fully potty trained for a year now. What we ended up doing is taking him to the bathroom every 20 mins. Once he got used to that we started moving the time out. 40 mins, an hour, etc. so that he got used to the feeling of needing to go. We kept him in pullups during this and as long as he was dry we put the pullup back on him. Once we got him where he could go for over an hour we started putting undies on him. I kow it's a long process and I wish you the best. The only other thing I can suggest is to give her a book that she loves while she is sitting on the toilet and only let her read it then. email me if you want more suggestions.

    Answer by jessicazeksmom at 5:47 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • op: has delays or disabilities? her delays are speach and cognitive which really shouldnt make her incapable of using the toilet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I feel for you. I can't imagine having a child that old still pooping in a diaper or pullup. Have you tried talking to your pediatrician about this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • yes that is how i know she has no physical restraints on the subject. i just dont know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Oh, Mama, I can hear your frustration and I totally empathize with you. You must be trying so hard to get this done and feeling like she is now missing out on things because she isn't trained. Unfortunately, if I can hear your frustrations your daughter might be well aware of them too, and it may be adding pressure or fear to complicate the problem. Does her doctor have any helpful input? Could her cognitive delays be causing her to not fully understand the process? Have you tried putting her in underwear? It may lead to serious laundry for a week or so, and staying really close to home, but might have a positive result if she gets the concepts better. I wonder if she is cleaning the poop herself out of fear of disappointing you- let her know if she poops to come to you and you'll help her clean up without getting mad. Have you tried rewards for using the toilet? I'm sure you've tried a lot at this point, I wish I had more. GL

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:44 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • underwear are a waste of my time. i tried for a good six months. it was more laundry than i could stand and it made no difference.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • My friend pt her son by setting a timer and taking him EVERY hour and sitting him on the toilet for a couple of minutes. She did it for 2 weeks and he was fully pt. GL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • while i was potty training my son, people told me to just let him run around naked. that didnt work out too well because we were always in and out of the house. (BUT, it could work for you if you have a lot of time on your hands!) then i put him in underwear, he still wet his pants as if he were wearing a diaper. the only thing that worked for me was putting him on the toilet EVERY hour (while still wearing the underwear of course). it took a LONG time, but eventually it got to the point where he was more used to being dry all the time than being wet.. and when an accident came along, he hated it! and one day he woke me up in the morning and said "mommy, i went pee pee on the toilet!" and he has been accident free since then!!! its a miracle!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • My son will be 4 in august and is extremely resistant to potty training... I finally found the thing that makes a difference (to him).. I give him a quarter every time he goes in the potty and his pull up is dry, if he pees in the PU, but poops in the potty it's a wash, and if I check and he has pee in his PU he has to give us a quarter. It's working pretty good so far, but its only been a few days!! (I will give him all the quarters back someday.... but he doesn't know that part!!) So, I guess you just have to find the thing that might mean something to her and bribe her with it?? Just and idea ;o)


    Answer by Morgain at 12:47 AM on May. 28, 2010