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What do you do when your SO/DH/BF isn't on the same page?

My SO of 7 years has been flirting with an old friend on Facebook. To ME it's flirting, to him it's not. He says it's not, but I see it as flirting. What do I do? Out of the 300 (male and female) friends on his facebook she is THE only female he talks to, and EVERY SINGLE status update she has he comments on and/or "likes" it. EVERY SINGLE ONE!

When I had facebook he NEVER EVER responded to my status updates or if he did, it was something STUID and sarcastic. He is nice to her. IRL he is a sarcastic butthead to me too, but NOT to her on Facebook. Now I have FB again and he won't add me.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think you are making a big deal out of nothing.


    Answer by Gailll at 3:47 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I desagree with Gailll, she is not. She has the right to worry about this stuff. she dont want to add her on facebook what does it mean?He doesn t want her to be part of his friends?She has the right to worry and ask questions. I wont let my men talk to another woman if I suspecious her.She has to talk to him if he isn t convinced that is flirting they have to get another person that ll see the situation with a neutral eye.I wish all the best my dear, I feel for u.

    Answer by Imane1215 at 3:55 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • sounds fishy. you're his GF and he won't add you, they're in constant contact and he treats her with more respect than you? why bother worrying about it... just move on.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:11 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I see some 'red flags' here--- he was a butthead to you, nice/flirty with her and now he won't add you to his friends. It would make me wonder if there is something going on that he does not want you to know about or see. I think it is time to have a talk with him and find out what is going on, and possibly give an ultimatum-- her or me. Good luck!

    Answer by MizLee at 4:43 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • It's time to move on when they treat others better than you. Since there is no marriage, my behind would be gone. He clearly wants to pursue something with her so I'd be helping him pack.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:47 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I think the question isn't whether or not he's flirty with someone, but what's making you feel so insecure about his behaviour?

    His behaviour is not a reflection of your value as a human being... so that can't be it. If his happiness is important to you, and this is something that makes him happy, that can't be it... so I'm confused.

    Why are you paying this much attention to who is the 'only' person he 'always' responds to? Unless you're looking for something to shout about, I mean...

    Answer by LindaClement at 7:08 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • sounds to me like he's not adding you because he doesn't want you to find out what he's talking to her about. you need to have a talk with him. tell him you don't feel comfortable with him talking to her. as above poster said maybe even give him an ultimatum. if he chooses her over you then it's his loss. you'll find someone who respects your relationship. good luck.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 9:06 PM on May. 27, 2010

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