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Why do they think he is so perfect?!?!

So the father of my child has been abusive, to the point he smashed my face in and his family covered for him, he is not emotionally/mentally abusive and his family thinks he is freaking perfect and i hate it.... I'm leaving at the end of the month and I know I'm going to be the "Crazy white bitch" that tore apart the "family". I want them to still be cool with me and stuff so should I go to his family and explain what is going on or just leave?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Maybe you can go to his family and ask for help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • why in the world do you feel the need to be cool with the people who covered up for him? next time go to the police and hospital and get proof.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:36 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • If they are covering for him then i wouldnt think there is any use in going to them. I would document the abuse in case he takes you to court for custody (esp since they have covered for him before). Maybe take pics when you have bruises and write down the days he's abusive and what he did - slapped you, hit you, etc - If after you leave they want to see your child, then tell them they need to be supportive of your decision and then you could work out a way for that.
    If I were in your shoes though, I would just leave. I wouldn't say anything to anyone. Abusive spouses are dangerous and you need to be careful. Especially since if his family finds out, they may try to change your mind or tell him - unless he already knows.
    landons.mama

    Answer by landons.mama at 4:38 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • If they are covering for him, they are either in denial that he is abusive, or they know but don't care. I would not tell them anything, I would just pack up and leave and then cut ties with them.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:40 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • They won't care. I had an ex who got drunk, tried to punch me, and ended up hitting me in the arm instead of my face. Anyway, I told his family and he denied it. They believed him even though I was the normal sober one and he was the freakin' drunkard.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:56 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I meant to say he is emotianlly/mentally abusive sorry my son was in my lap
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • HEL( NO don't tell them anything, They covered for his abuse. Do you really think they are going to listen toyou? They have to blame someone so it's going to be you, not him (in their eyes). Why on earth do you feel the need for them to be "cool" with it? They are just as bad as he is. Run Forrest Run and don't look back.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:45 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • why do you still need to be cool with his family? you need to get away from this guy and the last thing you need is strong ties to him. I figure you might have a child with him that the only thing you need connected to him. His family isn't worth keeping relations with if they can't even believe that he has been abusive. I think you should cut ties with all of them.
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 5:51 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • No. My family is the same way and it drives me nuts! They will go to any ends to justify the ridiculous behavior of my family members over a rational, sane person just b/c they are related. My uncle's wife divorced him b/c he was a drug addict and a bum and my grandparent's talk about her like she is the worst person in the world. THey hate her and she's done nothing wrong, she left a lame-ass idiot. My Mom defends my sister to no end and she is a terrible parent and a drug addict! It's like they can do no wrong and it drives me insane. You will get nowhere. They are ignorant, just move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • why do you want their approval and respect? he abuses you. they know he does and doesn't do anything about it. that should be enough for you to leave and not look back at any of them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on May. 27, 2010

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