Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Very sensitive subject.

My son who is almost 7, only saw his biological father ONCE, when he was only a month old. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 4 months pregnant with him. He was there the day I had him and every day since. He is the only man he knows as Dad.

Do I HAVE to tell my son? My brain says tell him, my heart ignores it, and doesn't want to think about it. I know he has a right to know, but it breaks my heart thinking about it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (16)
  • I think someday he'll be pretty pissed when he finds out and believe me, he will find out someday.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 4:12 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • omg I just read that and it sounds terrible. I mean if he finds out from someone else when he's like 15 or something.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 4:13 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I would tell him about how some people have "biological" dads, and some kids have dad's that live with them. I wouldnt get too technical about it. But he needs to know. And just so he knows that the live-in dad loves him , he should be fine.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 4:15 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I think he always should have known and he shouldn't call your boyfriend dad. You aren't even married! I agree about him being very upset when he finds out, upset enough to end his relationship with you. Better tell him ASAP.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:17 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Gailll. You are a piece of work. Really.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Tell him. You will regret not doing it later. He WILL find out so better it come from you and now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Gailll. You are a piece of work. Really.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    She does have some comments that aren't nice from time to time, but my guess is that she doesn't mind sharing her opinion. At least she doesn't hit the anon like I am right now. LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I think you should tell him. It would be very upsetting to find out when he is a teen or later. Maybe you can find some books to help you tell him. It will get harder the longer you wait. I dont think Gail is that off base excpet that he wont disown you unless you decieve him hiswhole life..ten he may be really upset about it. This is a good age to tell him. Think of it like adoption..why would you wait til someone is 20 to tell them they are adopted..would be fery upsetting!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I never knew my biological father but I knew of him. My dad (my step dad) was with my mom since I was 6 months old and took me as his own. I knew from a very young age that he wasn't be "real" dad...as matter of fact, I dont remember not knowing. It wasnt a big deal. I'm glad that I knew young.It didnt bother me...I mean, yeah, I wondered from time to time as I got older what my bio dad looked like and stuff, but I never felt I lacked anything from not knowing him, I had my "dad". The only thing that DID bother me was having a different last name.I had my moms maiden name.
    Anyway, Yeah, I would tell your son. And YES I think its great that he calls your bfriend dad.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:25 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • You will know the right time to tell him. Sometimes the brain knows better than the heart. It isn't something you can keep from him.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:39 PM on May. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN