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what should my sister do?

My sister has a son who will be 2 in July. My sister has a boyfriend who has been in her son's life since she was 2 months old (not the father), but he calls him daddy cause that is all he has ever knowen as daddy. She has knowen this guy since before the baby was born though. The real father kicked my sister out when she was about 4 months pregnant and said the baby wasn't his. She went down when the baby was about 5 or 6 months old for a DNA on her and the baby and he was supose to go but didn't show up. He hasn't paid child suport he has never seen the baby only pictures he wrote my sister on myspace a coupple weeks ago wanting to see my nephew. She told him her boyfriend would probably want to fight him so then he said never mind he didn't want to see his son. Should my sister let him see him anyway?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on May. 27, 2010 in About CafeMom

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • "Achually he isn't on the birth certificate he has my sisters last name and under father it says none"

    which is why I stated, if he truly wants to, tell him to petition the courts for the DNA test. He has no rights unless he can prove he's the father (which is why a DNA test would be needed). If after the DNA test, he still wants to pursue rights, he'll have to repetition the courts for a hearing for custody/visitation rights. At which time, when the tests some back, your sister would go and petition for child support. I doubt he will take things that far, but if he does, he make actually be ready to take that step to be a part time dad, and you should try to give him the benefit of the doubt to try to see where things go.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:37 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • I wouldnt let him. sounds like a looser anyway. She should go thru the court. They will make him take a test then he can pay the support. After that, he can work on having a relationship with the child.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 4:22 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I think I'd tell him to "prove it's his"!!! I'm sorry....you said he wasn't yours....so....leave us alone!
    TimandMely4ever

    Answer by TimandMely4ever at 4:22 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • He can file for custody and support from her! Telling him she would have someone fight him was stupid. He could use that against her. She could loose her baby. If she is living with this guy that would go against her also. If that child is his he should be able to see his child.


    She needs to file for custody and support. She needs to get married or get the guy out of where she lives. She needs to get a job if she doesn't have one if she doesn't get married and the guy can't support them.


    For custody and visitation it doesn't matter what the father did to the mother in the past even if she was pregnant.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:23 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • She should definitely let him. It's his son. He obviously thinks about him and wants to see him, even if he didn't before. The boyfriend has absolutely nothing to do with it and he should stay out of it. Her son deserves to have both his parents in his life and know his father. What if he wants to know his dad some day and finds out his dad tried and his mom blew him off? Sure it's still his dads fault for not trying harder but I would be disappointed in my mom to. I think it's selfish to not let him see his kid. Hopefully it will end up to be a good thing and he will help raise his son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I agree telling him the boyfriend will fight him was very dumb on her part. IMHO She should tell him that he needs to get a dna test and then he can (and she needs to let him) see the baby.
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 4:29 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • OP HERE honestly my sisters boyfriend doesn't want him involved I think that is why they haven't taken it to court. And if you tell him you are going to go for child suport he says it isn't his and that he isn't paying it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • He can file for custody and support from her! Telling him she would have someone fight him was stupid. He could use that against her. She could loose her baby. If she is living with this guy that would go against her also. If that child is his he should be able to see his child.



    She needs to file for custody and support. She needs to get married or get the guy out of where she lives. She needs to get a job if she doesn't have one if she doesn't get married and the guy can't support them.



    For custody and visitation it doesn't matter what the father did to the mother in the past even if she was pregnant.
    OP HERE so I guess that means it doesn't matter that she was being punched in the stomach when she was pregnant after she told him that she was pregnant???? Ya that is why she moved back home eith my mom. He left the state when she moved out of his house he just moved back a couple weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Op.. To your last comment I understand how you feel but yes to the court it doesn't matter because to them "people change" and they will say he wants to be a part of the childs life now so let him
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 5:10 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I'd personally, in that situation, let him prove first that he was the father before allowing it.

    If she was silly enough to put him on the birth certificate, she won't have any choice if the dude goes to court to enforce his rights... unless she can prove the child isn't his.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:14 PM on May. 27, 2010

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