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Is it that bad?

I was at subway today and some friends from our scool walked in, one bought a kids meal and came over to show me and my friend the bag it came in.... my friend asked how big the sandwich was.... the girl said its smaller then a 6 inch a little bit and that she didnt eat alot anyways..... i poked her stmache and said "doesnt look like it" I was just joking and she turned around and said i was anorexic for 2 years and got all upet and stormed away. I tried to apologize later in the day and she said "its whatever" .... brought it to her attention that she had made a racist comment approx a month ago when i said that i wanted my daughter to learn spanish since shes half PR.... she said, "why e are in america, we speak english".... I didnt legt bother me and went on about my day. When I brought it to her attention today she just said well its true, we speak english- cont

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • should i feel this terribly bad about what I said when she has no remorse for what she said?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • sigh....just let it go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • You were childish and rude. Who pokes grown people in the stomach and makes fun of them? Not ok.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:00 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • no, i would tell her i was joking and leave it as that, u didnt know about her history so say sorry n move on
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 9:01 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Just because you were able to get past her hurtful words doesn't mean that you have free reign to say whatever you want to her. You made a joke that you shouldn't have. It's called putting your foot in your mouth. It was insensitive and she has a right to feel hurt. It's good that you apologized, but you can not make her forgive you - and acting like you are vindicated by her previous comments isn't going to inspire her forgiveness. Just let her know that you feel bad about the comment and let her come around on her own.

    It is a big deal to make a comment about weight to a person with an eating disorder. The problem is rooting in distorted body image, and odds are that she has walked a long road to be okay with how she looks. It's a fragile state and little comments like that are like mini daggers to the shaky ego.

    Just give her time, and let her know that you feel bad.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:01 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • **rooted not rooting, sorry.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:02 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • Dude, not cool. EVER. People have personal space bubbles for a reason. You crossed a line.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:12 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • op here- me and this friend smack each others ass's atleast 2 times per day, for what reason would i have thought her stomache was worse?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • People who have struggled with eating disorders can be VERY sensitive about their weight, and comments like the one you made cut deeper than you realize. Next time you see her you may want to say "I'm sorry, I did not know. I did not mean to hurt you."
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:34 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • She didn't make a racist comment, just said that learning Spanish isn't necessary to live in the US. If she'd said that hispanics are lower class citizens or that people who speak Spanish are lesser beings in some way that would have been racist.

    You however were rude. It doesn't matter that you didn't know about the anorexia, you still made a joke about her being fat and that's not OK. She had every right to be offended. If you said that to me I'd put you right on the spot and hopefully you would have realized what a horrible thing you did and apologize.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 9:39 PM on May. 27, 2010

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