Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I have been married for 4 yrs. My husband and I has been togther for a total of 7 yrs. in the past my our relationship was abusive. It stop maybe a yr before we gotten married. everything was going well. Of course we had our good and bad times but it was going great. I gotten pregnant and when I was 9 mths Our baby was stillborn. After that things started going backwards. He started, drinking heavy, smoking weed, and the verbal abuse started bck up again, I caught him cheating. I didnt just want to give up on our marriage so I suggested marriage counseling. He doesnt see the problem that I see. Now he starting to change alittle(for the better) and would like to try marriage counseling but now I dont. Im giving up on us because im tired and the pain is still there. I just want to take my kids and leave and start anew.
Do you think Im wrong for feeling this way?
Am Im giving up too quickly?
Real and honest opinions pls !!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • No how much can you take when they do not see the problem you should take your kids and leave. I would find a place that I could live and start again. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:38 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • no. i think you gave him enough time and chance. i understand losing a baby is hard but it is no excuse to do what he did. and if you want to leave now, you will probably still want to leave later.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 11:38 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • I think you should leave if that's what you want to do. You gave him a chance to change and make things work and he didn't feel like doing it. Now however long later, he wants to? Well if you think its too late, then its too late. If it was alright for him to not want to try and make the relationship work when you wanted to, then I think its alright for you to end the relationship when he doesn't want you to.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:42 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • OP here!
    Okay I feel the same way!! But when I tell him how I feel he says im just giving up to easily but I know Im not tripping!1
    Just wanted to make sure and see if other women feel the way I feel about this situations. So Im gonna follow my gut and move on! I think the damage in our relationship is pretty much done!
    Thanks ladies!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on May. 27, 2010

  • It seems to me like too many people are finding it TOO easy to just walk away these days....It is so sad. I don't think you are wrong to have the feelings you are feeling. I do however, think it would be wrong for you to just walk away at this point. I think it speaks volumes that he's made efforts to improve and now is willing to go to counseling to make things better. (There are plenty of men out there who would refuse to ever even consider counseling.) I completely understand that you've been in pain & that you may feel it is too litlle to is never too late. You made a commitment to each other to stick it out for a lifetime--for better or worse. Marriage is HARD work. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise---BUT, it is worth the work. I bet if you walked away now without trying again, you would always wonder......And truthfully, so would your kids. I'll be in prayer for you and your family.

    Answer by LindyCam at 12:04 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • I would leave him, because if he abused you once, he will do it again. Don't even give him the chance to abuse you, I would go ahead and leave and take the children with you, and don't look back. You and your children will be happier,

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:30 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • i know how you are feeling my dh only thinks about hisself and drinks everyweekend never wants to do anything as a family!! i just had a miscarriage and things were going great until i lost the baby now things are going back to where they were i feel like he doesnt love me or his son as much as he loves beer and friends!! i just want to move and start a new life!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on May. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.