Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do?

I have a friend who was living with her boyfriend. Something really serious went down between them and she felt she should get her own place, so she did. They have a 1 yr old together and she is pregnant with a 2nd that they planned. Well she didnt have any furniture and really had no money to buy any because she makes min. wage. I make pretty good money, but I was in the process of relocating and my things were in storage so I told her she could buy my living room furniture and just pay me whenever. I came to her house to visit and she has so much of my things. My kitchen stuff, a night stand, my $100 comforter set, rugs, towels and washclothes. Im a little shocked because Im supposed to be moving into a new apt and I dont wanna ask for my things back, but gosh. Im a single mom too, I just happened to make alot more? What should I do? I never meant for her to take most of my things.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on May. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • You should have went with her or had someone you trust go with her, ok she makes minimum wage and PLANNED this baby?!!!! What does the dad do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • Let me add that, I would just kind of joke around and say, Girl, i didnt say you can take my whole apt! And then immediately after say, Im getting ready to move too, dont you think I need my stuff?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • Well I didnt go with her because I wasnt in the state at the time. I had relocated for a few months and I just got back. They planned the baby but its a really long story and right now they are not seeing eye to eye, so he isnt being there like he should and like he was with the first. He is a manager somewhere and owns his own home, but Im just thinking when I move Im gonna have to replace all the stuff that she has taken. I have expensive taste.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 12:03 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • first you have to figure out if you want personal things back such as bed linens. if you do then you have to be point blank and tell her your intention was just the living room furniture, she either misunderstood or took advantage once you figure out which one that will tell you what to do. good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • Thats what I was thinking. I joked around and said, when I move Im taking my stuff and she said, "Im not listening to you because I know you arent that type of person".
    I have a plan to pack up some of my things. The expensive things and replace them in her house with cheaper things. Like my dining room table plates. Those are for decoration only, not to eat off.
    She can have the pots and pans and canisters. The towels and washclothes can be replaced but my comforter set, I want. She said if she had known it cost so much she wouldnt have taken it, but Im like Ii didnt tell you how muched it cost because you were only supposed to get the sofa and love seat.
    But I seriously want my stainless steel microwave and my digital toaster, that was a gift from someone.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 12:06 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • But that's the fun of getting a new place and buying new stuff for the new place. Let it go. You will get a blessing for helping her
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • Girl you are too nice! And yes there is such a thing, either you are too nice or you let people run over you, you be the judge! You are going to have to say, i KNOW im not that type of person, but we had a misunderstanding and I need to get my things, i AM willing to let you keep SOME of the things, but not all.
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:10 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • @ Camtri3, Im def not a push over. I havent said anything because I know she wouldnt have taken the stuff if she didnt really need it. Im a masters certified teacher so I do make pretty decent money. She used to be my asst, so I know how much she makes and I think I just kind of feel bad. She has a 1 yr old and a baby on the way. With what she makes there is no way she is going to be able to furnish her home. She is in school but hasnt finished yet.
    I think I wouldnt be in such a shock if she would have atleast asked or told me, hey Im gonna borrow some of your things and then I would have told her what she could have and what she couldnt. But my comforter set, I think Im hurt over that. I really loved that comforter and I got it on sale for $120. LOL.
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 12:15 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • @ admckenzie. I think thats what I will do. I recently went thru a really really bad break up with my daughters dad, which is why i temporarily relocated. Im starting fresh with a new life and new attitude, so I guess purchasing new furniture and things wont be so bad either.

    Thanks ladies
    lilmsnay83

    Answer by lilmsnay83 at 12:17 AM on May. 28, 2010

  • I definitely would say something about the things you REALLY want back. Charity and help is one thing, but there are certain things you are attached to and you MAY eventually resent her for having them. It kind of sounds like she might have taken advantage because she came back with "you aren't that type of person". If you feel compelled to replace some of the stuff for her, by all means that is your decision. But if there are certain things you truly want, then get them back.
    mama2000_1

    Answer by mama2000_1 at 12:56 AM on May. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN