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I am having a major issue with my child care provider aka my SIL and I don't know what to do.

My SIL is providing child care in my home for my two boys. The oldest is 3 and the youngest 1.5. Okay they aren't exactly angles, they're boys, but she is really hard on them. She is always calling them brats, keeping them in the house all day in front of the television and she is always either on the phone or the computer. I know this because I live on a farm where my family has a business and they report this to me when they see it. So what do I do? I am paying her $1000/mo. Its not like this is charity. I have another girl that is willing to do it but I don't know if I am over-reacting. any imput would be appriciated at this point.

Answer Question

Asked by MissV_66 at 12:59 PM on May. 28, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I really don't take kindly to people calling my children names. I would be finding someone else. She obviously isn't happy with her job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I would definitely switch. The second she statred calling them names, that would be it. I don't think you are over-reacting at all. She doesn't deserve to be watching them.


    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 1:04 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Hell, for $1000 a month, you could do a lot better. Sure, she's family, but they need more. And even if they are brats, or she really thinks they are, don't tell the kids! Go to the other girl.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 1:05 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I would try talking to her first. Ask her how she feels about watching the boys and if its getting to be too much on her. Ask her if there is anything that would help her have more fun with them. Give her ideas of taking them places, like the zoo or the library. Explain to her what you would like for the boys to be doing during the day. If after a couple weeks she doesnt show improvement, I would tell her that you have decided to go with a professional nanny or something. Good Luck to you!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:09 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • thanks ladies This is my first time with full time work and day care so I wasn't sure If I was just being over-protective. I am sure my children are not easy. They are young boys that like to push limits. I usually plan daily activities for them to do so she doesn't have to think about it. and I don't ask for housework to be done and I prepare thier lunch and snack also. I just want her to play with them. I ask her all the time if she is okay with the kids and the job and she says yes. I should talk to her again.

    Answer by MissV_66 at 1:22 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • if you are paying her them you have a BIG say in what happens with them all day, first they are brats because they are bored and watch too much tv, give her a list of activites that the can do or a time limit for both outside time and tv time. i know that boys thst young and that close in age can be a handful but seriously if they can get some exersize ang fresh air during the day they will be easier.

    Answer by trying2survive at 2:00 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Talk to her or switch. I don't think people change so I would probably make a switch. Kids come first before anyone's feelings. They deserve better.

    Answer by keyaziz at 2:37 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • WOW. She would not have lasted long in my home. Fire her. If you've got someone else willing who you KNOW would interact with your kids properly, for the same (or less) money, hire that person immediately.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Definately talk to her and lay down some ground rules. You can explain to her that since this is the first time you've had full time childcare, you really didn't know what to expect, but now that it's been a few months, you have a better idea of what you would like from your provider, then discuss your wishes. You can specifically state no tv - at all - or that she use a specific schedule with them. You can even specify that while she is with the boys, she must be WITH the boys, meaning not on the computer or the phone unless the boys are down for the designated nap time, if they still nap (mine quit by the time they were a year old, the buggers). If necessary, lock out your computer to be sure your rules are followed.

    If your SIL doesn't want to abide by your rules, as her employer you are well within your rights to terminate her & hire someone else. SIL may be unhappy, but your children must come first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Yes boys can be a handful (I have 3 of 'em). I would be seriously pissed if I was paying someone that kind of money and instead of watching my kids (like she is being paid to do) she spent all her time on computer and not with my kids. As for her calling the kids brats- that is unacceptable! (if they are acting like 'brats' it is probably because they are sick and tired of being ignored and want attention).
    Honestly if it were me and my kids-- I would fire SIL and hire someone else!

    Answer by MizLee at 3:10 PM on May. 28, 2010

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