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may seem crazy but how do i ....

ok long story short, i have a friend who her and her husband can not have kids, they want them very badly and just had an adoption fail, im talking the day they were suppose to bring baby home, the birth mom changed her mind, i want to have a baby for them.... that being said how do i get my husband to agree? I see it as all together we have 4 kids (i have 2 he has 2) i want to be able to give this couple this amazing thing we already have they are a truely awesome couple and will be great parents i have always wanted to be able to help a couple in this way and i feel this couple was put in my life for me to help them how would you convince your husband?

 
mommie2twogirls

Asked by mommie2twogirls at 1:58 PM on May. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (29 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would first explain that you wouldnt be having sex with the other man. I have had this problem from BOTH guys, the would be daddy and my s.o. so i believe it may pertinent to explain. Secondly talk about things like the exact way you will be doing this. Their egg and sperm, your egg and his sperm, or her egg and a donor (maybe the prolem is with the man). Then discuss dates and things like this, also how to respond to questions, and think up some good things because people close to you may be a wee bit judgemental. Also the risks and complications need to be discussed, which is why i have with my s.o. decided to wait until we have one more in a few years. Because becoming sterile is a possibility also there can be other complications so you ALL need to do your homework and have a discussion, but have one with him and then schedual something with the other parents. You dont want him to be blinsided
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I wouldnt like someone taking care of My kids.It would be awkward and You will be attached so if anything ever happned to Yalls freindship then You would not get to see it.
    From2to3

    Answer by From2to3 at 2:03 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • who is the infertile one? Guy or Gal? Maybe you can do an artificail insemination thing with either his sperm to you, or your husband to her. Then it would be their child (for the most part) I think it is a great idea and a very nice thing to do. I'd do it in a heart beat
    leslie_zoe2010

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 2:08 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I'd just talk to him and explain why you want to do it. Even though it's your body, he is the one who has to live with the hormones and sickness, so he'd need to be on board with it. Plan a time when you can actually talk calmly about it alone w/out the kids around and just discuss it.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 2:28 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • If your DH won't agree to you being a surrogate, don't push the issue - it's not an easy thing. Are you 200% positive you'll not get attatched to the baby and have no problems handing it over after carrying it for 9 months? Have they ever expressed any desire for a surrogate to carry a baby for them? Just ask your DH flat out, and if he's not comfortable with it, drop the issue, don't ever bring it up to them, just be there for them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • you cant make him be ok with it, would it be his child biologically? if so then it is incredibly understandable why he wouldnt be comfortable with that. I know I wouldnt be. If he says he is not comfortable with it it wont get better, so just dont do it. Support them another way. Or you might be at risk of loosing your marriage if you push him into something he is not comfortable with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • honestly at this point im not to worried about my marriage, dh has already screwed that one up with the way he treats me if things arent better by tax time im out anyway, i have also always wanted to help a couple in this way i feel that this couple has been put in my life to give me that chance, we arent super close or anything, (the couple and i) we are close enough that i know they are very good people and would be amazing parents, they were trying to adopt but had a very bad adoption failure. not sure i mentioned that above but they were suppose to get a baby, were there for the birth and then birth mom changed her mind the day they were suppose to take baby home
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 11:52 PM on May. 28, 2010

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