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What should I say to my neighbor when she complains about her lazy sons not doing anything?

I want so badly to say kick them out, especially the two older ones. Her oldest is 24, he graduated college with a masters degree a couple of years ago, the other one is 22 and is on accademic suspension from college, this happened during his forth year and final year of college. The third one is 20 and is home from college for the summer. None of them has ever had a job, the just stay home and play video games and on the computer all day long. The mom complains that she never gets the house to herself. I always keep my advice to myself, but what I'm really feeling is that she should kick them out or make them get psychiatric help, mainly the older one, not the younger two.

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Asked by staceynoel at 2:14 PM on May. 28, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 12 (852 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • Sometimes they might get upset with you, sad to say if you are honest your neighbor may not be too neighborly. IF you get what I mean.

    If you care about her you might loose the friendship then the right thing to do is tell her, in a very suddle way, let her see it.

    Sometimes we get into trouble when we try to help someone but it is worth it.

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:20 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I would ask her if she wants my opinion. If she did. I would just tell the truth.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:20 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Iwould just say I know it is hard to boot them out of the nest but as long as you let them stay there for free they will continue doing it. Maybe just tell her thta you know someone else who did that and the kids respect the mom for standng up to them and they are happy with their lives. You can be nice and give her advice. Dont be mad when she doesnt take it but it wont hurt to say..they need pushed from the nest lol.

    Answer by ria7 at 2:21 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • She needs to have a talk with them and set a deadline for them to "fly free from the nest". Otherwise shes gonna end up with several kids in their fourties at home. Encourage her to get a spine and help these boys grow up and out!! I sure would!! Most kids stay at home because everything is so easy. No rent, no chores, mom cooks and cleans.... sounds like easy street to me. She needs to wake them early every morning with a list of work to do around the house and yard,and start charging them rent. HIde the video games and make sure they pull their own weight. Then her house won't look like such a nice place to hang out and they'll start looking for alternatives. It worked for lots of moms... try it!

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 2:21 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • what do you tell her? shut up or do somehting about it!

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:21 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • MYOB! Blood is thicker than water. She made them the way they are. Just smile and nod your head. She may just need someone to vent on. If you cherish her friendship then don't have an opinion. Just listen. It will somehow backfire on you if you say anything negative, it always does. Sometimes saying nothing with just "hmm" & pursed lips will get a point across.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:24 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • neighbor "I'm so sick of those boys, not doing anything all day, I never get the house to myself, blah blah blah"
    me "So tell them to get jobs and move out. They need to pay rent or get out. Don't give them a choice, it sounds like they're capable"

    That ^^ is about what I'd say.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I'd probably change the subject every time she started to talk about them. Or maybe I'd use a "well, if they were my boys....", but if you go that route you may lose your friendly relationship w/your neighbor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Listen and say that stinks and that's it. They are her kids!

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 2:42 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Ahh.....I see she's at it again!

    They aren't your kids, mind your own damn business and worry about whether or not you are going to keep screwing your rape viewing boyfriend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on May. 28, 2010

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