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How can I discipline a 20 month old throwing tantrums when time out doesn't work? Oh and I don't want to spank.

My 20 month old has been throwing awful tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. I don't want to spank her and time outs are not working, any other ideas?

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Asked by mommyofgracie at 7:43 PM on Jun. 18, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (12)
  • What does she do when you put her time out that keeps them from being effective? Perhaps those issues are something you can work on.

    Answer by Home_Interiors at 7:47 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • Time out will work if you are persistent and consistent DO NOT give in. Even though its a real work out some times haha. You also have to learn to ignore the tantrums as hard as it is because its just teaching her that you will give in if she gets loud enough etc. Its something I think they all go through.

    Answer by notyourmommy76 at 7:48 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • Time out really is the best tool for discipline, if your child refuses to sit on their own, I would simply tell them that if they can't sit alone like a big boy/girl than they will have to sit in their high chair.. put them in there and buckle them in. I've had to do it with my son, I stayed there and calmly talked to him and explained why he was in trouble... then he calmed down and sat there quietly till it was time to get down. A couple times of that and he'll sit in his time out chair now!

    Answer by BeckNAiden at 7:54 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • At that age, I usually just put my 23 month old her her room.... and let her scream until she's given up.

    Answer by knattie at 8:01 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • Get down on her level. Talk to her. Talk her through the tantrum. Let her know you're right there and when she is done you will talk to her. Let her know you love her and it's alright to express her emotion but you can't understand her when she acts like that

    Answer by NoUdderMilk at 8:13 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • Most of the time I just ignore her and she stops b/c she's not getting the attention. If that doesn't work, i try talking to her like NoUdder suggested. If that doesn't work, she gets a bop on her butt or put in her crib (depends if we are home or not).

    Answer by wildblu3 at 8:23 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Leave the room, she will stop. She is just trying to get attention. When she is done try to spend a little time with her, but she needs to know acting like that wont get her what she wants. spanking, talking to, and time outs arent very good for tantrums, its hard for them to just snap out of it, they dont have that much self control

    Answer by MarissasMommy20 at 9:01 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • I put my son in his room when he starts throwing fits. I don't say one word, and I don't allow him to leave him room until he calms down (we put up a baby gate). It took FOREVER when I started, but now his fits are over in a matter of seconds. Consistency is what's important- and if she consistantly does not get the attention she's looking for, she'll stop.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • if your at home ignore her...if you are in public take her to a bathroom or up and leave. Good luck.

    Answer by Mimomof3boys at 10:03 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

  • My son is 20 months old and has learned to throw tantrums. I just walk away. I make sure he is safe and I just walk away. As I am walking away I always say the same thing... "Ok, when you are done I am going to be in here. I can't understand you when you are acting like that" I say no more... eventually he gets up and comes over to me and wants a hug. I always pick him up and love on him. I also ask him to say sorry... sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. But he knows that he will not get attention when acting a mess. As for public.. hasn't happened yet. I'm nervous about that one.

    Answer by pipandmijosmom at 10:18 PM on Jun. 18, 2008

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