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Hmmm does he sound intersted in this child of ours

Well I am 5 months pregnant and him and broke up a few months ago because he thought he had the right to spank my child well that wasn't okay with me because for one he isnt your child to disipline, 2 when I am around why are you doing the discipline with my child when I am inside the same room, 3 just because spanking works for you daugter doesnt mean its ment for every child.. Well he never texts me and never ask how I am doing or how my appts have been going or etc, why should I call him and tell him how everything is going and etc. Well I txt him and said I remember you had a wedding to go to in october and thats my due date and I said what happens if I'm in labor and your drunk and he said that he wouldnt come up until he is sobber, well why wont you be sobber during friends wedding if I do go into labor that day. So does he sound interested in being in this childs life or etc :(

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on May. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • nope.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • He sounds like he is mad at you. You basically told him he wasn't good enough to help parent the child you already had. I don't know that it necessarily has anything to do with the child you are carrying. If you want him in this baby's life then you may have to accept his parenting style or find a way to come to an agreement about what parenting techniques will be used.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • It sounds like you did not tell him how you felt abut your child just left him. That is first! Second if he is at his friends wedding because YOU broke up with him who are you to tell him not to drink? Sorry but my DD's dad was not there when she was born because I broke up with HIM! You are the one who decided that you live with it!


    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 3:44 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • For one, good for you for standing up for your child. For another thing, the reality of having another baby doesnt seem to have sunk in with him..why should it..he's not the one pregnant, at least thats the way a lot of men seem to think. I would just go on with my life, begin planning a life with your children without him in it. I wouldnt hold my breath for him to come to the delivery. Maybe if he gets no phone calls or txts from you for awhile he will begin to think differntly about the situation. He sounds like a jerk. You deserve better and so do your children anyway.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:44 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • kimberly, you do not break up with a guy who you are pregnant by because he thought it was OK to disciple your child. I disapline my step sons and sometimes their dad says hey you should not do that because I do not do that so I do not want them to get confused. Well that used to happen UNTIL WE TALKED ABOUT IT!!! You do not leave a relationship over that you TALK!!! So many many people have never heard of talking it out and not just getting up and leaving!!! Plan a life without him? He is that baby's father. You try and take a father away from a child and you are the bad one! Every child needs their father i have learned through being a single parent for 18 months!!!! I contacted my DD's father and made him be a daddy and now my DD is a daddy's girl all the way and I am soooooooooooo happy I made that happen!

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 3:51 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • We did try and talk it out but we both dont agree on the discipline issue and he said well than if I cant spank him than he isnt allowed at my house well good than neither am I!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • i agree with delilahsmom and the second anon. if you are having another child together and living together I am going to assume you were planning a life with him. You don't just break up with him because of a small problem like this I understand you wanting to stick up for your child but if you are planning a life with this man you are going to have to learn that he is going to discipline your child you just have to talk to him and tell him how you want your child to be disciplined.
    Also for most men, as kimberly said, the reality of having a child doesn't sink in like it does for us. They want to be involved but as with most things they don't treat situations the same as we do. My husband doesn't even know about doctor app. until the day of or day before that just isn't something there interested in the only appt. my husband cares to go to is the ultrasounds.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 4:04 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • oh wow.. I can't believe he said that. It sounds like he was mad and acting a little immature there. Have you tried talking to him a about it when both of you weren't upset.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 4:05 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I have a question OP or well a few actually. How old is your child? Why did you not discipline him before your EX did? How long have you been with this guy and how far along were you when you split? Really I mean it sounds like you can not agree on parenting but yet you are having a child with him. What if he spanks this kid are you just going to say you can't do that and if he wants to you will take HIS kid from him? Really this is making NO SENSE!!!


    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 4:15 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I have this problem with my SO. He fills the parent role and wants to parent my DD even when I ask him not to. He thinks of himself as the man of the house and the parent to my DD. You do have to set boundaries. But you cannot tell him not to spank your child if you do. If you don't , then he shouldn't either. If he is not capable of respecting your boundaries, i'd say let him be mad and huffy and walk out, he is in the wrong. Worry about your belly and you son. Thats it.

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 4:38 PM on May. 28, 2010

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