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Muslim women: Divorce?

What do you do as a Muslim woman living in the west if your husband divorces you or leaves you and does not provide the support he is supposed to?
He says he does not owe me anything, no money for me to get on my feet, no child support? I am living with my non-Muslim family with no car, no way to get a job without a car, no money and soon no place to stay.
He says he does not have to follow anything but the "laws of the land" and here he doesn't owe me anything but child support after I go through the courts.
He will not answer my calls, I don't know where he is staying, no way to get to the court to file anything.
What do I do dear sisters? Should I contact his family?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on May. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (11)
  • as a muslim rule u do get money for ure daily requirements (grocery etc). till the day u re-marry. he is to support u till ure next marriage. if ure living in US then according to islam the land-rules apply too. so i guess he owes u money through US rules as well. talk to ure lawyer

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • How am I supposed to get money for a lawyer? Transportation to get there?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • there are some lawyers who work pro-bono. that might help u. but if ure completely STUCK at home with not even as a support to lift ure finger, then i guess no one can help u either ! i mean lets face it, NO WORK can be done while sitting at home. if ure own family isnt helping u then i guess there might be some relatives or friends out there to give u a head start. please dont expect a miracle to fall out of the sky and into ure lap. thats never going to happen. ure the only one who can help ureself and ure children

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • After a 5 years as a SAHM, no education, no friends, no family to help I need a miracle!
    I am stuck at home. I do not live in the city where I can walk or take a bus or a taxi. I need a car, I need help. I was just wondering my rights. He SHOULD be helping me. How can I show him this? Should I go to the masjid? Who do I talk to? Should I tell his family everything?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • u can go to a masjid. there might be someone to help out. talk to the imam also and ask him what's the rule to fight for justice. as islamic law ure DH should be paying u money and supporting u. but ofcourse u'll need to be strong and fight for ure rights. being a muslim woman, u have ALOT of rights, but sadly our society doesnt give even 1/4 of it to us.
    also u can talk to his family, but i doubt they will be willing to help or not. seriously have no idea what kind of people they are. what if their side with ure DH? but if u think they are nice and will help u then definitely call them up and talk to them.
    as for him helping u. yes he should. but how u get him to do this ? by enforced law only. there is no other way. im sorry

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Why wont your "NON muslim" family help you? Even if they dont agree with you faith, they are still your family.
    I have a muslim friend, and I love her to death. I dont always agree with the way she believes, but that doesn't change our friendship!

    Answer by christyg at 4:57 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Call several law offices, also if you are willing to do some of the work yourself, many law offices with charge you less, there is a lot you can do on your own. Are there any agencies in your area that can put you in contact with the right people. Start with government and church agencies that offer assistance, they can give you information on where to go to get help.  It doesn't matter what your ex says, it only matters what the courts say.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:18 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • You should stop paying attention to what he is NOT doing for you and work on what YOU need to be doing  for yourself and your children.

    Apply for public assistance, put a child support order on him, enroll in some classes (once you get public assistance they should be able to help you with transportation to classes, job interviews, persistent in bettering the life for youself and your children and you will turn into a success...

    Keep waiting for your husband to stand up tall and face the reality of being a man, you will never go any further than where he left you.

    The choice is yours...insh~Allah you will make the better choice.


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:02 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • A lawyer doesnt get paid unless you win your case, then when and if you win you can pay the lawyer. As far as transportation, you cant take a bus? You cant get a little job til you get on your feet? Everything takes a will to survive. People fall on their faces and dont even have a hot penny to their name, atleast you have a roof over your head at this point, and even though your "non-Muslim" family wont help you 100% you are still getting a roof over your head for now and that is one BIG thing you dont have to worry about. Now you need to start to use your brain and moving on. He may or may not want to give you money, and you may or may not want to go to a lawyer, but how do these other women in America do it? Some are not even citizens. I think you just want to sit around and have things handed to you and in your situation it doesnt work that way, you need to do it for yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Also, women need to get street smart...A husband can and will come and go, but are you really going to be unprepared for when he does? Get your education and learn the ways of the world when you can, when you were married to him and he loved and supported you you could have taken advantage of the situation and went to school... if you keep walking the earth with your heads up your asses you will never survive. What were you going to do with yourself and your kids if he suddenly died? Just sit around then too? I dont want to come across as brash or mean, but when I see women not prepared for the future it really makes me angry. Dont be stupid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:44 PM on May. 30, 2010

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