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No one showed up at my daughter's party...

My daughter was never one of the most popular kids but she had her group of friends and no one had anything against her. Her class went on a trip and while they were there some of her classmates smoked weed. One of these classmates were one of her close friends. She was really worried about her and she threatened to tell the teacher if she kept up up. The other girl told her that she wouldn't do it and they got into a really big fight. I coisidently called her right after that and she was crying so she told me everything and she asked me to call the teacher and tell her what was going on because she was to scared. So I did and long story short 6 kids were suspended. She's the most hated kid in her class ever since. Now one month later we through a party and NO ONE showed up. What do I do? Talk to the stupid parents? Start looking for a new school?

My daughter is 13.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on May. 28, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (31)
  • teach your kid to not be a rat. Its good to be the "good kid" but really unless someone is doing harm to someone else then she should mind her own business...it will only get her in trouble
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:13 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • good for her for standing up for her beliefs and trying to look out for her friends. so what if no one showed up i know that is hard cuz she is 13 but u know what she doesnt need friends like that anyways...if she continues with them she will eventually give in to what they are doing and do it with them. good for her. let her know friends that could possibly get her arrested are not friends at all. and good for you for raising a teen that is actually against drugs!! ignor the pp about being a rat. they probly smoke dope themselves. it is 1000000% not ok to smoke dope. good for you and for her! keep you head up momma and just be there for her. i know it is hard but if she stays the way she is she will be one hell of a women when she grows up. and as for the rat comment she said somehting cuz she was worried about her friend. it isnt like she saw a group of peeps she didnt know and reported them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • First, your daughter did the right thing! Don't ever let another clueless parent tell you otherwise! Secondly, the teacher should have handled it in a way that your daughter's name didn't come up...or made it look like they found out on their own. Ok, that's water under the bridge. I wouldn't start looking for another school just yet,. I know how difficult that age can be...my dd just turned 15, and is STILL having a hard time with the 'mean girls' and their peer pressure BS!

    Hopefully, this will all blow over during summer break. Is there other friends she could call & hang with? I'm sorry for your dd...that must've been heartbreaking for her & you. I know personally. When school starts, and if it is still on going...I would make the decision to go from there. Teenage girls were once my nightmare, now, they have become my kids. In all honesty, they suck & their parents don't help sometimes! I wish both of you the best!
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 9:40 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • shay that was horrible advice. her kid did the right thing and she should be proud. Gives her mom more reason to trust her daughter.

    Mom, I would watch this situation very very very closely. Does she use the internet at all? Text at all? She might be getting bullied and that can really kill a kid emotionally. If I felt that she was being bullied at all, I might change schools just b/c I feel like that type of stuff gets really serious.

    I know she feels bad about her party, just reassure her that she is smart and made a good decision and that the other kids are immature and making bad decisions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • I am so sorry for what your daughter is going through. It seems her concern for her friend has now cost her that friendship. It is great that your daughter confides in you and lets you know what is going on with her friends, some kids her age would simply hide this from their parents. Atleast she was smart enough not to feel pressured into joining them. If you feel your daughter has no friends and is not being treated right then I would look to put her in another school. I am not so sure if talking to anyone would help at this point, it maybe worth a try. You should be so proud of your daughter for not being a follower, and being honest with you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Please don't listen to anyone who tells you your daughter shouldn't be a rat. She is not, she is just a amazingly well rounded teenager and that's something you should be proud of. Most teenagers would have joined in but she stood up for the beliefs. All teenagers say they are against drugs but there's a small percentage of teens who are actually against it. Congratulations on having raised one of these kids. She's going to be a strong adult.
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 9:59 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Good for her for sticking to her morals and having those children turned in. That takes a lot of guts to do that for a teenager and I commend her for not being bullied into keeping quiet. You've raised a fine young lady.

    As for the party. No, do not call the parents of the other students. That will only cause more problems for her, because the students will get word and she'll be bullied. She clearly didn't have very good friends if they didn't even show up to her party. If she is continuing to be harrassed, bullied, and treated unfairly at school then it might be a good choice to search for a new school. Even if nobody is speaking to her. I wouldn't normally suggest this if it were one or two kids, but if the whole class is in on the cruelty then it's best. Due to the fact that these are fragile years and it can really damage a person when they're being bullied. So this is something you need to talk to her about.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:13 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Shay are you serious? If so you should not have children as you are NOT mature enough to raise them.

    OP: Please tell your daughter that she should stick to her morals and beliefs no matter what. GOod for her.
    Whatkids

    Answer by Whatkids at 10:19 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • Personally I would have gone to the parents myself and not to the school. It would have kept it from being something that everything in the school community knows abbout and the parents could have dealt with how to discipline their children. Having seen situations like this in the course of my own sons school years (they are 18, 19, 22 and 23) I can say that the child and parents who rat out others at school are quickly dubbed as social outcasts. It's much better to keep things private and between parents. It IS great that your daughter stood by her beliefs BUT there WAS another way to handle the situation. It very well could be time to either switch schools or to homeschool for a year or two. What good would talking to the parents NOW do? You didn't choose that route when it came to salvaging their own childrens reputations but now that your own daughter's is tarnished you are offended? Karma is a nasty wench!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on May. 28, 2010

  • everyone not everything in the school community.......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on May. 28, 2010

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