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how do you disipline your child in public??? Oh my gosh yesterday we went to walmart I have a 5 and 2.5 year old. I have back problems so dr doesn't want me lifting anything heavy and it hurts to lift heavy stuff. We had our 5 year old and 2 year old in the shopping cart cause my 5 year old gets really hyper starts running and spinning in circles. We don't always put her in a cart she wanted in it so we said ok.

Well she wanted out so I told her to wait until her dad got off the cell cause I couldn't lift her. She then started crying then she kicked off her shoe so I took both her sandles and put them in the other cart we had she started crying loud so I smacked her arm which I barly even smacked her cause I missed her all that touched her was the palm of my hand so she was already crying so she got louder like screaming and saying she wanted her dad so I then got her out of the cart took her to the bathroom and spanked her butt and told her she is not to act like that in the store. I told her when I tell you to wait you need to wait I told her she needed to get ride of the additude. I then also grounded her from playing with the little girl next door today cause that is where she gets it. How would you have handled this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on May. 29, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Sounds like a lot of moms just "ignore" it and let the kids get away with the tantrum instead of doing anything about it. Yes I spank my kids, not often but I do and they know that they will get a spanking if I threaten it. I do not let my kids act out in stores, if they start I ask if they would like to go to the bathroom for a spanking. You have to address the issue with the child while it is happening, if you wait until you get home or leave it is not going to solve anything. You do not have to spank but you do have to do something. If I waited until me or my husband could go alone it would be midnight do to work schedules so I take all 3 kids with me, no choice. I think you handled it well. Next time you go into a store remind her you will not tolerate any acting up, and make her walk the entire time so you don't end up picking her when you shouldn't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • I don't normally have to take her to the bathroom very often to spank her butt, but she plays with the girl next door and I think she gets the additude from her cause she wasn't playing with her for a while like a month or 2 now she started playing with her 2 days ago and I already see the additude again. This girl next door back talks her mom and growls at her mom and everything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • When my kids were younger and acted up like that in the store, I gave them "the stare" and kept repeating the phrase "Wait, please". They'd keep crying and I'd keep saying it over and over until they finally realized they weren't going to get what they wanted, and THEN they realized Mom sounded like a robotic parrot and that would usually distract them enough to quiet them down a few minutes. If they were kicking in the cart and getting ready to go into tantrum mode I would hold their feet and get really close to their faces and say it again.
    I think it's the stare that did it, there's nothing like a totally tee'd off Mommy two inches from your face looking you right in the eye. The voice was calm, but the stare would scare them into behaving because they didn't know what was coming next. Once they calmed down, I would say "thank you" and then distract them with something else like my shopping list.
    plylerjones

    Answer by plylerjones at 8:25 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • Honestly, I would have ingore her crying and let her carry on. She would have eventually stopped crying because she would have seen that it would not have gotten her what she ultimatily wanted and that was out of the cart. If when daddy came back he would have left her until she had stopped crying. This is coming from a parent that does spank time to time as well. Just curious did you put her back in the cart after that or did she get what she ultimately wanted and that was out?
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:27 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • As far as the friend goes, I would have them play at your house. That way when her little buddy starts with the attitude, you can nip it in the bud. I find other people's kids who are disrespectful to their own parents will stop the act when it's another parent who is telling them to knock it off (again, because of the unknown factor). My dd had a friend like this once and when she acted up at our house, I told her "I'm not your mom, and I will NOT put up with that". I didn't threaten her with anything like sending her home (although I would if it got really crazy), I just made sure she realized she had no option but to behave.
    plylerjones

    Answer by plylerjones at 8:29 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • I don't have to spank 4 out of 5 of my kids.I have one that is VERY hard of hearing(by choice) So she has had a spankin' or 2 in her time for drastic stuff she can not do.' Other wise time -out works for us, or taking away a special toy they play with everyday. In a store I do what I have to & leave, thats it.These days I try to work it that I go to the store by myself as often as I can.Or ask S.O. to stop & grab something on his way home from work. Stick to your guns , I think you did the rite thing teling her sh can't play with her friend if she doesn't listen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • i have a 4 year old if she is crying or pitching a fit i just let her do it and ignore her if she does something she knows she isn't suppose to talk back be ugly or something i spank her butt right there no need to go to the bathroom
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • We abandon our carts and promptly leave whichever store we're in at the time, and they DO NOT get to go back until they indicate they will behave. It just means that one of us stays home with the kids, while the other does the shopping. It has taken a number of attempts and failures, but now they are great to take out--they DO behave, because they realize it's a privilege to go to the store.

    I would tell your husband to do the shopping by himself next time, and tell your daughter, she cannot go because she misbehaves. You can call your husband on his cell phone and tell him what he needs to buy--if he's a "hopeless" shopper! OR, when he is home with the kids, you can go shopping for what you need by yourself! That's how my husband and I did things when the kids were little.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:59 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • I try to do the whole "ignoring" game. A lot of times it works because she is not getting the attention that she is seeking. Yes it sucks when people are staring at you with an evil look because your child is out of control, lol, but the easiest way to do this is to not give in. BUT.. there was a time where I did spank her butt right there in the store because she was angry that I was ignoring her, and walked over to a bottle of Clinque facial cleanser and dumped it out on the floor! I gave her 2 very firm pops and I made her hold my hand for the rest of the shopping trip. She didn't move a muscle after that...
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 9:19 AM on May. 29, 2010

  • The one time Kiwi threatened to scream, she told me "I'm gonna scream and scream and everyone will look and think you're a bad mommy" I told her to go ahead, see how many people she could get to look at her, I didn't care if they looked at me. She was confused, and in the few minutes she tried to work that out, she was distracted and got over it. My sister used to be a store screamer, and I just told her, real quietly, to scream a little louder, there were a few who couldn't hear her, she screamed louder, and I asked if that was the best she could do. She realized it wasn't doing any good and she stopped.
    Don't worry about people looking, most of them have been there, done that, and know exactly what you're going through.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:36 AM on May. 29, 2010