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My ex kissed me, I feel guilty but I don't want my SO looking for a fight...Any suggestions on how to eleviate my guilt?

I left my husband after 5 years of marriage because he cheated on me, had a one night stand because some "friends" told him I was having an affair which I wasn't. It broke my heart to leave but I couldn't trust him and I still don't. I've been with a wonderful man for a year now and he recently moved in with me so things are getting progressively more serious. I can see myself someday marrying my SO and having more babies with him. My ex is bitter about me moving on. This is not the first time we've split but we always got back together after a few months and he thought that I'd "get over" what he did after a couple months. He knows I'm falling in love with someone else and is getting desperate to stop it, so last night at his parents house he asked to talk to me before he left with the kids and he kissed me. I stopped him immediately but I still feel guilty not telling my SO but I don't want them fighting either.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I know the kiss wasn't my fault but I hate keeping things from my SO and while I don't tell my SO every little detail of my life, something so intimate I feel like he should know because my lips are his to kiss just like I feel his lips are mine to kiss and mine alone. I also worry that my ex may tell my SO and try to turn it into something more than it was and it'll look bad if my ex tells him before I do. Ugh! I can't win either way....anyone know a delicate way of telling my SO?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • You didn't kiss him back, so there is no guilt for you to feel....unless you felt a spark? Tell him is a good and bad idea. On one hand if you tell him you don't have to worry about your ex saying anything. I almost had sex with an ex when I was just dating my husband but was broke up for a day or to when it almost took place. When I started dating my husband again, my ex asked me if I told him about us....What Us? Anyways men will do anything. But on the other hand, if you tell him there will more then likely be bad blood and your ex might just say that you wanted it giving you SO mixed feelings and thoughts. I'd keep it to myself and not talk to my ex without someone else being around. He said she siad is never fun. Good luck.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 4:06 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I'd just say it then. Make sure that he understand what happened and that you can't just not talk to him...but you'll make a point to not speak to him alone anymore. You have to go over everything in your mind. I don't know how he is or how he'd react. I wouldn't tell him. I don't tell my husband when I man flirts with me, even though he tells me every chance he gets about how many chicks still want him.

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 4:14 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Do NOT confess anything to SO. What your x did was wrong but there should be no guilt on your part. Let it go. He knows he screwed up and thinks a mere kiss can win you back. Don't put yourself in the position to have a repeat performance. Just move on

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:24 PM on May. 29, 2010

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