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He's Still not home (Selfish)

Thursday my dh drank a little bit last night he got pretty drunk and when i took his brother home he stayed there i went home and dh never went to bed and went to the bar still out drinking at 5:30pm is spending his whole paycheck
im so over it im just wondering if i would get a divorce b/c ive been trying to keep this marriage alive for 2yrs we have been together almost 6 we have a 2yr old son
since he wont stop drinking on the weekends now how will custody go i dont want to worry about my son dh drinks all weekend i dont have a job how can i file for a divorce im going to go live with my mom as soon as she gets moved into her house just want to know what i can do my poor son is the one who is suffering and im here for my son not for my dh and if he wants to miss out on our son's life then so be it
Another thing he will call me a B*tch or tell em to shut the F*ck up and when my son says it to me he thinks its funny :(:(:(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would go visit mom and just take a break not file for divorce. Let him see how life is without you and his son then maybe he'll reconsider the drinking the paycheck and ignoring his family thing. It's summer. Go stay with mom for the summer and help her unpack. Then make a decision when you are not so upset.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:34 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • The biggest thing in any custody battle is documentation. Keep a long of all his drinking and verbal attacks. That way, when you stand up in court over this all, you've got a long, consistant record proving your point.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 5:34 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • this has been going on for 2 yrs he always ends up doing this he has got tickets cussed out cops and tells me hes sorry every time and it wont happen again he is on a three day drunken spree hasnt been to bed, he's treating me like shit in front of our son and he thinks its funny that our 2 yr old tells mommy to shut the fuck up bitch
    he is just going down hill everytime something happens it gets worse my son is always saying i miss daddy or daddy doesnt listen to me he is a true acholic that doesnt think he has a problem when he gets arrested his mommy gets him out and sends him home to me:( i want a role model for my son hes gotten way worse since our son has came hes 21 almost 22 im 22 i do everything for my son!! dh does keep a job but has went to work drunk!!! I dont want him alone with my son i dont trust him he would probably leave him in the house alone so he could run to the bar so please how will custody go

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Alcoholics pass out, not stay up for days...sounds like more than alcohol in his system hun.
    Move in with your mom, get a job, keep documentation of EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! Every bad word, every drink he has, everything!
    If worse comes to worse and you have to go to court, you will be the one working, being responsible, with proof.
    Good luck! it sounds like he is a real piece of work and you are better off away from him, and not letting your child be around it will be better in the long run. You dont want your son thinking that his fathers behavior is okay....its not!

    Answer by chipper87 at 5:48 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I know its not its been worse as its ever been this week i need my son away from him i dont want him to be alone with my son i say my son b/c hes never changed a diaper gave him a bath held him when he crys NOTHING and will not stop drinking when hes not working i dont care if he hates me but DONT DO THAT TO YOUR KIDS my son is at my moms i want to talk to him whenever he walks threw the door and tell him im leaving and that i want him to sign custody over and i really really hope he will

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Hun, you need to reread everything you just wrote about your life and what your son is living with. That alone should be all the push you need to leave this man and get on with your life. You could insist that he get counseling before you two can be together again but I wouldnt get your hopes up. YOu need to think about yourself and your son. This man is a poor excuse for a husband and a father. Your son will grow up learning how to treat women by the men around him. He will grow up to disrespect you and all other women. Good luck......and remember. You are a women. You birthed a child and you are strong and invinsible.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 7:27 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • You need to move out and let him see what life is like without you. Get a job and show that you are supporting your son. It's pretty easy to get a job at a daycare and your son can go to work with you. That's what I did when I had to start working and had no degree or skills. Anyway, not saying you dont have job skills just letting you know what I did. You need to be prepared for a divorce. Tell him you want one, but you can also be open to letting him back into your life if he stays sober, goes to AA (12 step program), and stops speaking disrespectfully to you.

    Answer by lowencope at 8:15 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Before you have him sign anything, talk to an attorney. I've heard that a man can sign over his rights but can still see the child (even tho he's not paying child support), and I've also heard it in reverse.
    Before you make any decisions that could affect him being alone with your son consult an attorney. There's legal aid in a lot of places but you do have to qualify.
    In absolutely no way would I let my child say those things to me, or my hubby. I'd tell the child how that hurts my feelings when either of them say it and that his Daddy is wrong for teaching him to say those things because words hurt.
    I'd be recording some of this on video too to use against the idiot, along with saving all of the bank statements and check stubs to show how much he's spending on alcohol. And I agree, most drunks pass out, not stay up for days on end.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:34 AM on May. 30, 2010

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