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How would you handle this situation

Ok so I have a friend that I've known for years ...we call each other cousins because we're so close. I love her so much but it seems like whatever I say she crticize and judge.
for example one day we were on the phone and I said jokingly that I thought all guys with dreads look alike. She said that I was ignorant and I was like dag I was just joking, she said no you was serious...uh no I wasn't thats not I feel I was joking-where we live(dc) every other guy you see has dreads-
How do you handle friends that takes everything you say serious?
I just gotten to the point when where out and about I just don't say anything because I know I'll be critcize for it and it will be takened the wrong way

Answer Question
 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 7:01 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Just tell her to stop. SO was like that and I just told him to cut the crap and he did. Some people criticize so much they don't hear themselves doing it until it's brought to their attention
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:14 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I agree with admckenzie, tell her to knock it off. You two are close enough that that shouldn't be a problem at all. She might just be doing it without even realizing it! Or it might've been a touchy subject or she was cranky... it could be all of the above. But next time just tell her to knock it off, yes, you WERE joking, and get a grip.
    I've had to do that with a close friend of mine, and she's had to do it for me - that's exactly what we did to each other, bluntly told the other to knock the crap.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 7:17 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • all guys with dreads do NOT look alike. for sure. maybe she doesnt think your jokes are very funny,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • i would tell her to stop criticizing you and to relax, everyone is entitled to their opinion even if its wrong. She needs to lighten up, i would probably agree with you, i think they look the same also. Its their whole persanna.
    mama_crystal

    Answer by mama_crystal at 7:28 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Okay thanks ladies!!
    @ anonymous lmao at you! why you had to post that anonymously?!?!
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 7:37 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I would let her know what she sounds like record her that is what I did when my SO was like that.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:40 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • hmmm good idea pinkdragon36
    kyheavensmom

    Answer by kyheavensmom at 7:44 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • whoah tell her to loosen up. I couldn't handle being friends with someone like that. You need to be able to joke and laugh together. Life is too serious as it is.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 7:55 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Tell her you feel like she is criticizing you, If she is truly the close friend you believe her to be, then she will see it as an honest statement, if she gets offended and huffs off, then she isn't a good friend. You said you have known each other for years - sometimes we make friends at one time, and then never re-assess to see if the two personalities still fit together. If it has been years, and this is her personality ( ie does she do it to everyone?) then maybe she isn't the right fit for you anymore. I had a very close friend who as we grew up became just like this, judgemental, critical and narrow, in the end I let her go, she just made me feel angry and frustrated too often to be able to call her a friend anymore... a good friend doesn't try to make you feel stupid
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 10:28 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • If it's gotten to the point that you're not talking much, she has to be noticing that. If she's not, then she's not that great of a friend, sorry.
    When she asks, I'd tell her "why bother, everything I say you're going to think I'm wrong or lying anyways (because of her not believing you were joking about the dreads)."
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:23 AM on May. 30, 2010

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