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Do you sue the person...???

I read one of the popular journals about an adoption gone wrong where the birth mother changed her mind. The adoptive parents had already spent money on the girl's expenses, buying baby things, etc... and had no money left to start the process over again. (touching story by the should read it...). Anywho, what are the legal implications when this happens. Does the birth mom just get to walk free after being provided for all that time? Will she have to pay the money back? What happens in that situation? I can't imagine that happening to me! I think I'd be so pissed I'd sue the girl...but then how would she care for the baby you have come to love??? So yeah...anyone knows how a situation like that gets resolved from a legal standpoint?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (50)
  • Chances are suing wouldn't do much good its kinda one of those things that you go in knowing there is a risk that it could always happen and usually with private adoptions there aren't many legal grounds to stand on unless you already have lawyers and such involved prior to the process.

    Answer by AngeLnChainZ at 7:24 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I think it depends on what the contract says and if it mentions a case like this. It's all a complete legal process, and just depending, they might not even stand a chance and might actually lose more money in the process. It is very heartbreaking and my heart goes out to them.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 7:26 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • ~OP~ Geez. That makes me soooo sad for that family! I figured any legal fees and lawyers would not be reimbursed...but I would have assumed any medical bills and living expenses for the birth mom would be given back over time? That's just wrong. What stops women who can't afford those things from pretending to want an adoption just for the nine months of free living...and then "changing their minds" when the time comes?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I agree, it depends on the contract

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:28 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Well, OP, that's why it's always firmly suggested that you go through an adoption agency instead. Or, if it does come down to a situation like this, ask a lawyer to write up a contract that'll list almost all scenarios and protect the couple from heartbreak and woes. It's a sad fact. :[

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 7:32 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • As others have said, it depends on the contract.

    Answer by Ziggy-Stardust at 7:45 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • No the laws protect birthmoms. There is no recourse for anyone that paid any money or fees in good faith and then the birthmom changes their mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • When a couple in our church adopted a baby the birth mom had 30 days to change her mind. Thankfully for them she did not but they had such a relief when the 30 days were up and they officially adopted him. Everything they did for the birth mom was in good faith. They wouldn't gotten anything back from her if she had changed her mind.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • The attorney is the bad guy.First the woman that gave birth is NOT a birth mother till her child is legally adopted ,till then she ia a pregnant woman that is considering adoption.The attorney should have emphasized this repeatedly.Along with a constant reminder that money is not recoverable.Money may not be given with the expectation of reimbursement if a baby is not provided.Think about that ,it is too close to being money for a baby.I read the journal ,it is very painful but it doesn't seem to be a scam.This is why pre-birth matching is not a good idea...much pain It sounds as if the atty involved did not emphasize the risks enough .She may have used texting to shield her self from pressure.Though I agree if the PAPs don't wish for more contact she needs to leave them alone.Work out her guilt she is having with her own family leave the PAPsalone. When a profit by attys and agencies can be made that becomes important


    Answer by drfink at 9:54 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I think the only way she can be sued is if the couple can prove fraud, like if she was never pregnant or if she was collecting money from several couples at once (which has happened). We used an agency because we felt it was safer. We were told by them and by our attorney that we were not to pay for anything. The agency would help her find practical assistance like housing and medical if she needed it. We were told that there was no guarantee that we would ever be able to adopt a baby, even after giving the agency a significant amount of money, but if one match did not result in an adoption our profile would continue to be shown.

    Many people adopt without an agency for a number of reasons. I've heard some say that it will be cheaper. The situation you brought up is an example of why this is not always the case.

    The other problem, as some have said, is that the pg woman may feel obligated after accepting money.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:19 PM on May. 29, 2010

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