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is it me?

my SO and I been together for over 5yrs and our sex life been going pretty rough. I am not like ever in the mood and he always is. Our kids r 4 and 3 but after our youngest was born I never feel the same down there since he ripped me all over. He did a number on me lol but it doesn't feel the same and I don't enjoy it anymore. He gets upset with me because its only once a month or max 3x.....I try to please him with oral but I don't want him to return it....I used to have high sex drive that's how we got our two kids lol but I feel that its just in my head or is it normal to not want to after kids and wat happen down there?

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MamaRene0506

Asked by MamaRene0506 at 10:05 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • You may talk to the doctor about it if it concerns you. Some women around age 25-30 loose the urge and then one day it just returns and they are great guns of fire again. It happens. As for the oral sex thing, he should be happy that you are giving it! I don't like receiving either and it drives my hubby crazy. LOL.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:12 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • After having my first baby I felt that way because I tore. I wasn't in the mood and didn't want him to go down on me at all. My hubby was so annoyed with me. But I felt so self contious. I talked to my hubby about it and he said that it was in my head. I was so mad at him. But then my hubby started upping the foreplay and I started relaxing a bit more. Maybe try some of the libido uppers.
    MizAnn

    Answer by MizAnn at 10:48 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • You could try speaking to your doctor, a sex therapist could also help. My sex drive dropped a bit after each of my kids were born but shot right back up within a few months but I also had c-sections so I never had any damage to that area.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • After I ripped it took me quite a while for sex to be good and pain free again but it's never been the same. Each baby I had changed it in different ways. I don't know about you, but my hormones were out of whack, and with a couple of kids running around the house, there's just more important things to think about than sex sometimes. My drive comes and goes depending on what's going on in our lives. Hopefully yours will come back but it never hurts to talk to a dr because they have medication that could help you, or things you could use that aren't orally taken to help.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:19 AM on May. 30, 2010

  • I would advise you to have your vitamin and mineral levels checked. Pregnancy strips all B vitamins, iron and zinc out of your body and B1, B6, B12 and zinc all have a lot to do with sex drive and mood regulation.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:56 AM on May. 30, 2010

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