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Hmmm what was he thinking?

My s.o for the past two years whispers in my ear that he has been thinking about something serious and wanted to talk to me about it. Okay so earlier i playful asked him to marry me and he said no and we laughed, so im thinking about starting that fund. No he says he wants to try and have the another baby (we have a 2 year old, not his, but she is his.) So im excited, like really excited, i have been working out to get my BMI normal, im a lil overweight, so i can donate some of my eggs. So he says he would like to try a few months after that. Okay so im like YAY late fall ill get pregnant. Then he says that he has one stipulation. I have to get the baby weight off asap. WTF! i totally love him and i understand this but im dealing with a weight issue right now, being overweight and not feeling too great about it. What is he thinking? What would posess a man to be such a dick when 99.999% of the time he is a prince? Stupidity??!


Asked by smilelovesmile at 10:10 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (526 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Guys don't think. They say stupid things with out thinking. My hubby tells me that if I ever let myself go (like really let myself go and gain a ton of weight that I can't see my toes as he puts it) he won't stay with me if I don't try to loose it. First time he told me that I was like WTF! Then I did it to him and he was pissed. And I turned around and said see. Watch what you say! Now its a joke. lol

    Answer by MizAnn at 10:20 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • oh and i have asked him before when i first started gaining this weight to help me work out, like sit on my feet or whatever. And he was too busy... I do love him but i could have (probably should have) smacked the living piss out of him. I walk 3.29 miles every 3rd day and do sit ups and crunches and pilates and now i have a Gazelle i just started using. Im trying hard as hell to get fit (without his help!) oh grrr sorry ladies i needed to VENT just right now!

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 10:12 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Um, why would you want to have a child with someone who isnt willing to marry you??? A lot of guys say things like that about weight without thinkin about it. Its so stupid and Im sure they mean it jokingly but it hurts! It sounds like youre trying to get in shape so just stick with it!

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:27 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I agree with Agua. Why would you have a baby with someone who wont marry you? Is it better for tax reasons or something? I at least hope that the two of you live together and are committed to each other. Anyway..that is neither here nor there. I think he just wants you to be healthy for the baby's sake. He wasn't tactful about saying it though.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:37 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I think that it is wonderful that you are exercising, but you also want to be sure to eat healthy as well. But I don't think you should do it for him. You should do it for yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • hmmm maybe it was a little harsh the way he said it, but i dont know, if he thinks your not trying to loose weight i could see where he would be frustrated. im struggling with an extra 15 pounds or so too, but my SO sees me work out every day and eat nothing but egg whites grilled chicken & fruit, so he cant really say anything. maybe he just wants you to be healthy and look good. can you blame him? being overweight isnt attractive inside or out really. and since you guys are in a relationship, maybe he just feels comfortable with you and thinks he is able to tell you something that he thinks.
    it is kind of wierd though that he doesnt want to marry you but wants to have a baby with you ...

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:56 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • On a slight chance that's his backward ass way of encouraging you ..
    However, it is more likely that he doesn't like that you're overweight. The future baby making is most likely a goal for you to lose weight. Which makes him a complete dick. Never lose weight for anyone but yourself, because being disgenuine to yourself will only bring you down. If he doesn't like you for who you are now as an overweight women, then he won't like you any more when you're skinny. This is proven by the fact that a person inside is more beautiful and he clearly doesn't care about that.

    Plus .. Was his "No" to your teasing about marriage actually a genuine "No"? Why would you knowingly have a child with him without the prospect of some kind of future. Even if it doesn't turn out to be marriage. Make sure this guy is genuine and not a sleeze bag..

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:00 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • So...was saying he wanted a baby just his way of forcing you to lose weight??

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:27 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Men in general can be a bit dense sometimes, in my experience its usually just an occasional lapse in speech. I wouldn't dwell on it. Of course I'd be upset about it too. Tell him if he's so concerned about you losing the weight quickly than he should support you by helping you out. Losing weight isn't easy but having someone there to work out with makes the time go by easier. When my sister had her first kid she got so depressed because she wasn't in a great relationship and her pregnancy was making her very emotional so she packed on a lot of weight. A few friends and I all started a routine after my sister had her baby, that was 8 years ago and with the support of each other we've all managed to stay in shape throughout our pregnancies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Purple...once again...get a life.

    She clearly said she is working hard to get her weight off and as far as what is and isn't attractive about weight is in the eye of the beholder. It's completely ridiculous for you to say " being overweight isnt attractive inside or out really" like it's a fact.

    You are one of the rudest people I've ever encountered on here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on May. 30, 2010