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should i believe him? husband friend says that....

my husband cheated on me last winter and recently asked him to find a hook up. my husband has cheated on me a couple of times and i found out shortly after they happened and worked through it. at first i believed the friend when he said my husband asked about the girls...then later mentioned that husband also asked about find someone to do a 3 way...i knew about the askin for a girl for a 3 way, i was there when hubby asked...but then the friend said my husband had brought down 2 women to my friend for a double date but the time he claimed it happened didnt add up...and this friend is also wanting me to leave my husband to be with him..mind you this guy is SUPPOSE to be my husbands best friend. and he also mentioned things that my husband did in the past that seems total out of character for my husband, grant it yeah he has issues but he is gettin help for that. help?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on May. 29, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • If the friend wasn't interested in you himself I'd definitely be more worried but there's something he wants from breaking your marriage up.
    What I'd do is set a trap for the "friend" to fall in to. I'd mention that my hubby was gone from X to X last Tuesday night, and see if he knows anything about it... while you know hubby was home with you and the kids just to see if he will lie to you.
    If you've forgiven your hubby before, I'm not going to bash you for it but it always leaves a doubt after you know that they've done it before so I'd talk to him about this and tell him what his friend is saying. He should know that his friend is hitting on his woman, and then again, perhaps your hubby is having the friend to hit on you to see if you'll take the bait because friend has told him things about you too?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:06 AM on May. 30, 2010

  • Do YOU think your husband cheated more than you are aware of? If you have already forgiven him once or even twice, how many more times are you willing to forgive him? I dont think Id want anything to do with him or his "friend".

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:22 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • It doesn't sound like you can trust your husband not to cheat on you. You may have a good reason to believe him. I would confront hubby and ask him about it. It also sounds like you don't have any good reason to trust his friend either. The only thing I can think of is be perfectly honest with hubby about what his friend said and the regards his friend has for you as far as wanting you to leave your husband for him.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:24 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • op here

    no i dont think he cheated on me more than i know of

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Is your hubby a sex addict? The reason I ask is because my husband struggles with it. Now he has never physically cheated (that I know of) How ever he has had a few emotional relationships and has talked to a lot of women while we have been married. He has been working on it and it is hard to trust him. However I believe him over others because he is doing better. Have you talked to your husband? What does he say? What does your gut say? I would be catious about listening to what the friend says.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • bad

    i would of left him a long time ago. if you stay with someone who cheats on you, then just get used to it because theyre never gonna stop. your the one allowing them to treat you like that.


    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:29 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Anon 9:28 again. You don't know the situation. I use to say that I would just leave him if that happened until I went through what my hubby is going through. Obviously she is willing to work things out. So how about be supportive instead of say just leave him. And you can't say that he will continue to cheat. Again, you don't know the situation. Also to the OP I would suggest Counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Do you believe that your husband has gone to his friend requesting to be hooked up? He has cheated on you multiple times in the past, so do you really believe that he is getting help for this? I'm not trying to make this sound like backwards questions. I'm genuinely asking if you believe your husband has changed. I believe "Once a cheater always a cheater" and it sounds to me that your husband is proof of that. If I were in your position I would confront my husband about it. Yes he'll be pissed at his best friend for saying those things, but wouldn't you rather know for sure? You deserve the truth and you're not going to get it through a friend. Regardless if that friend has feelings for you or not, your husband has a past of betrayal, lying, mistrust, and being unfaithful .. .And don't say "No" because you want to believe he's true to you now. Be honest with yourself.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:54 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • My husband had a friend who tried to get me to believe my husband wasn't being totally faithful and then tried to tell me how much happier I would be with him LOL. It was total BS so believe me it happens, but the fact that your husband has already cheated means it's a little more possible, and a little more likely.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Er...If he's cheated before and both of you are cruising to find a woman for a 3-way, why are you confused at to why he thinks it's fine to get his jollies outside the marriage?
    Call Jerry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on May. 30, 2010

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