Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I make a foster child feel like a part of our family?

She's 7 and she's been living with us for 2 months and even though we've been trying our best to make her feel like home, she's never happy and she always sits alone in her room doind nothing. She doesn't even play with her toys. She's not aggressive or anything, she's actually very polite and kind to us, but she's unhappy..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on May. 29, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (40)
  • just think about what she's been through... she's in foster care. She's been bounced around by the system. You need to be open to listening to her and maybe plan a day for just the two of you. Make sure you tell her I love you every day.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:29 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Maybe take her on an outing of her choosing. Let her know that you are there and arent going to get rid of her.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:32 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • OP here

    That's right, she's been with two families already. I'm actually trying to legally adopt her. We had a day out together but it didn't help much. Hubby was also there. But I'd like to go to Disneyworld with her, just the 2 of us for 4-5 days. What do you think?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Hey, if you can afford disneyworld then go for it! It will take some time to gain her trust and actually make her believe that you love her and want to take care of her. She's used the rug being pulled out from underneath her. Give it time and keep nurturing the relationship.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:41 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Poor baby! I think a trip to Disney World would be awesome.

    She's probably afraid that she's going to be placed with another family. I hope the adoption works for all involved.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • It's probably really overwhelming for her to be in this situation. Try taking some one on one time with her and get to know her the best that she'll allow you to. Sit down and maybe color. Ask her her favorite colors, animals, etc. Even if she's been to several foster homes before, it probably can be a bit much for her to have a bunch of new families in her face. (So to speak) So my suggestion is to take her aside and just try to build a bond with her one on one. If she doesn't want to talk that's fine, let her be silent. Just try to show her that you're harmless and you're really there to be there for her.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:47 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • I'm sure it's a matter of time. If she has already been with 2 other families she probably feels 2 families have gotten rid of her. Give it time and try to earn her trust. Does she know what adopting her would mean? Try to explain that to her and I;m sure she'll feel a little safer. And a trip to Disney World is a wonderful idea! That would give you the opportunity to spend time with herm just the two of you and maybe you could earn a little trust from her.

    Good luck, all the best!
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 10:48 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • OP here

    Thank you all for the advice, I'll try everything. She's a really sweet and kind child and she's been through too much already. I just want to give her a normal life and I could try anything to do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • Take lots of pictures and start a family photo album including her. Or a scrapbook that she could help you decorate.

    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 10:53 PM on May. 29, 2010

  • GIVE HER TME JUST MAKE SURE TO INCLUDE HE TRY TO FIND THINGS THAT INTREST HER & JUST LOVE HER I'M SURE SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH ALOT MY MOM DID FOSTER CARE I SAW 15 KIDS COME & GO & MOST FELT AT HOME AFTER A BIT 2 WE EVEN TOOK GUARDANSHIP OF SO JUST LET HER KNOW THAT YOUR NOT GONNA LEAVE HER :)
    ALOUDWHISPER

    Answer by ALOUDWHISPER at 11:01 PM on May. 29, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN