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is the first year of marriage suppose to be so tough?

right now it's been a yr for me and my husband and he aggravates me so bad that sometimes i wonder if i did the right thing. i love him and he's good to our daughter but he's stuck on this thing where he thinks he should have all the money and there's no romance in our life.

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cammey219

Asked by cammey219 at 1:19 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • All marriages are rough. It's the adjustment of living with and being bonded to someone for life lol I'm on year 4 and everything is still a struggle because we are two different people trying to make this work! We were raised differently and we've got to figure out the compromise in it all. If there's one thing to know about marriage, it's all a choice. We choose to love, we choose to sacrafice, we choose to be passionate....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I can only speak for my marriage.....


    The first year was not hard.... soooo much fun.  BUT the first year we had kids was a bit of an adjustment.  I stayed home, the fact that we didnt get as much sleep or could just pick up and go when we wanted.  The adjustment of being new parents was the challenge, as well as our new rolls with him being the only one bringing in money and me taking over the house 100%.


    If you did both, getting married and having a baby, at the same time.... I can see how that would be more difficult than a normal marriage..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • First 7 years.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • The first, second are always the toughest. It sounds like you two need to find a common ground and if money is the only problems that your having then you all need to commiucate about it. Commiucation is VERY important in a marriage and in a family. Work on these things and then see where you all at. It takes two to make a relationship/marriage work. Get him to work with you and if he chooses not to work with you then there is your answer.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • My first year was the toughest actually. When we were actually trying to get used to living with each other and share our money etc.. It was the worst, but now we've been happily married for 8 years and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on earth!
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 1:31 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • within the first 2 years of my marriage to DH, we suffered a lot...

    1) Living in the ghetto apartments of Santera (they finally tore them down last year. we moved out close to our 3 year anniversary)
    2) first job lay off from American Airlines
    3) severe back injury
    4) second layoff from American Airlines (while still out on a workmens comp claim.)
    5) Loss of Grandfather (who was helping to keep us from being homeless)
    6) almost constant fighting

    It was hell, but we made it through.
    MomOfDagJag

    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 1:33 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Nope, it's not suppose to be that tough.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Mine was easy as pie. Really, our relationship has been easy as pie since day one.

    Not all marriages are hard. I guess we lucked out. It's been nothing but a sweet ride. I'm sory to hear so many people have so many marriage problems. The joy in in the journey...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:56 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Our first year had its moments, but it wasn't too bad. We learned the big C word (compromise) and that helped so much. Now the first 2 years after our son was born were rough. The first year, obviously because that's a huge adjustment. Then we bought a house and both changed jobs within 6 months. That was not a pleasant year for our marriage.
    Journey311

    Answer by Journey311 at 3:21 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • It's different for everyone. Our first year was easy, lots of fun. Actually the first 12 years have been pretty easy overall. The only times that were difficult were when my husband was working too many hours and I felt like I was nagging him constantly to slow down.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:43 PM on May. 30, 2010

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