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My daughter is 14 years old and recently failed to graduate from 8th grade.My family is devastated to the point where my mother is not speaking to my daughter or I. I am trying to keep my head up and learn from our recent failures. Does anyone have any advice? She does get to go on to high school and start fresh next year.

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petunia102

Asked by petunia102 at 1:59 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Well... Why didn't she graduate? How is it your fault as well?
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 2:01 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • If she failed how does she get to go on? Summer school?
    Do you know why she failed? Was it lack of effort or did she simply not understand the work? Or was she ditching classes?

    I think you need to sit down with your mom and tell her you need her help which is to support the efforts you two will be making in high school or she needs to simply not be in contact with ANY one in your family. She sounds like she is being distructive.

    Depending on what the issues are.... you will have some changes in the house to make....... BEST OF LUCK!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • when i was in middle school i flunked out of classes...3 to be exact

    i knew the stuff, always aced tests and such, but just never turned anything in or did it for that matter, my home life was hectic.
    my dad had a vndetta to kill my mom, so until he was in jail i was always worried about her so 8th grade was just not going to happen

    i got to high school and made deans list
    all a's baby

    yeah, i say just ask her what went wrong, like hw or comprehension etc and help her on thoser, because if you send her to hs and she doesnt get anything your failing her because she may need the extra help and may need to stay ack and redo 8th grade

    better that than have her fail in HS and ruin her chances at going to college
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:03 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • First of all I want to encourage you in this.. Jr high is a tough transition for most kids. Many students fail to understand that turning in assigments are what affects your grades.. You do not turn them in .. no grade. Its that simple. It is up to the parent to make sure they are in touch with the teachers and with the child and make sure they are doing the work. If a child comes home and says.. I have no homework. chances are very likely they do and they just dont want to do it. I experienced this with my oldest and knew that it was laziness.. my youngest is finishing 7th grade and has done the same thing. He has to take math this summer because he flunked it. He admitted he was just lazy. Both boys are brilliant and can get straight A's they just dont have the motivation. I have several friends who are jr high age that are going through the same thing. Jr high is a pain for a lot of them. cont...
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:15 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • what is important is to make sure she understands that high school is not a game. Her future depends on it. I will warn you though... she may not get the message in her freshman yr... but it will start clicking sometime in the Sophomore year . Just be persistant and encouraging and consistant with her and homework.
    My older son... has so much trouble in jr high he was sick all the time with Gerd but he used it as an excuse to not go to school. It cost him a lot. We switched schools in middle of this yr and that has made a huge difference. He has not been abscence ONCE in the last quarter and his grades have improved dramatically. Granted it isnt straight A's but its so much better. Your daughter will make a turn around the corner but she needs parental support and to know she is loved.
    As for your mother... her attitude is absolutely wrong and right now support is needed. Let her know and leave it in her hands.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:20 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Btw my oldest son is finishing his sophomore yr. The jr high period was a couple yrs ago! and I meant to say I have several friends who have kids in jr high. ( should proof read before clicking button lol)
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 2:23 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • She'll be fine. Your mom should be ashamed of herself for not being more supportive of the girl. Failure isn't the worst thing in life. We learn a great deal from our failures in life. it's a terrible feeling to fail and to be punished by a loved one makes it even worse. Your dd probably feels like crap and grandma isn't making it any better. Is grandma perfect? I doubt it. This is a great learning experience for your dd. Failure can be an experience but does NOT have to be a lifestyle. Believe in your dd during this time or she'll lose believing in herself that she can overcome failure. That's what your mom should be telling the two of you, not turning her back on the child. I hate it when older folks judge youngsters and make things worse. Encourage your dd to overcome this. It will be a great lesson for real life. Tell your dd that I said I think she'll be great in high school and to keep trying no matter what.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:24 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Your family should be ASHAMED of themselves. To not talk to a CHILD and her parents because the CHILD did "graduate" from 8th grade is just childish and mean. There is not anything you can do but SUPPORT your daughter and forget about the rest of them. I know other kids who have flunked a grade and they are just as successful. Maybe she just needs an extra year to learn the material. Middle school is difficult. Concentrate on supporting your daughter and helping her succeed. Find out what your daughter needs help with and work on it during the summer.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:17 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I was a super lazy kid with a terrible home life. I was also waaaay to smart to have failed all of the classes I did and drop out of HS. Support your DD, but CRACK DOWN!!! Have a relationship with her teachers, most will be willing to email back and forth. Keep on top of her assignments, make her sit down and do her HW. This will work, no matter if the problem is laziness or comprehension. Good Luck!
    .carrie.

    Answer by .carrie. at 3:33 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I am not sure why she didn't get out of the 8th grade. You need to crack down on her. You need to make failing not an option. You need to set up a level of expectation and when it is not met, punishment is dished out. You need to make sure that you are doing everything you can as a parent to support and push her. You need to make sure that she does not have a learning disability and move forward.

    Make sure that you explain to her why her grandmother is not talking to her right now and that her grandmother finds her failure in school unacceptable. You need to explain to her that while her grandmother takes some time to cool off from her anger, that it does not mean that she is no longer loved and tell her that she maybe able to win her grandmother's good graces back with lots of hard work!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on May. 31, 2010

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