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I need a break!

I am a single mother raising a 14 month old son. I'm finding that lately I'm getting a little more agitated, because I constantly have to chase after my child all day and get very little free time for myself. I barely spend time with my friends anymore either because I am watching my son....and my parents are making me feel like I'm a bad person because I need a break! A few hours to spend time with my friends, relax away from my child...is this such a bad thing? They are making me feel like a bad mother but personally I think it's necessary. Any thoughts?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • I think it is necessary to have "me-time" on occasion. I get mine when my daughter goes to bed. I watch a good show from the dvr that I can't watch while she's awake (law and order svu, or criminal minds, their both a little to old for a 5 girl), and enjoy some veg out time. Even if you can't get it w/friends, take a while while he's sleeping to just sit and relax.
    You're not a bad person just because you need a small break every now and then. Besides, if you don't, you'll just get more and more aggravated and end up resenting your kid eventually, and he will catch on to that. A happy mommy=a good mommy.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:18 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Time away from a toddler is absolutely necessary to preserve your sanity and make you a better mother. It is your child and if you need time out, hire a sitter and tell your parents to mind their own business.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 3:18 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I have three kids under the age of 3 and it's not a bad thing!!!!!!! YOU NEED time to yourself. For your sanity and for the health of your relationship with your child/children! I find that when I get out of the house, even for a couple hours and do something by myself or with friends, I am so REFRESHED!!!! I come home wanting to cuddle with my kids (I do cuddle with them otherwise..lol) and I come home happier, and ready to take on another round of crazy kids! lol
    Hire someone to babysit for you if you have to...seriously..it's worth the time and the money and your health!!!
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 3:20 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I know how you feel, I am a SAHSM (step mom) to two boys ages 4 and 5, this wednesday they are going to their mom's for a month...but I haven't really had a break from them since last freaking summer when they were gone. DH works nights, so when he is home during the day he sleeps. I mean he sleeps like the dead!! I have pmdd, type 2 diabetic, among other things and trying to keep my blood sugar stable with the stress levels around here is impossible. I've gotten to where I can only take a shower about 3 times a month cuz DH is gone so much...or asleep when he is home. I have trouble getting out of the shower so I can't take one when the boys are in bed if I'm home by myself. But most nights I can barely stay awake until the boys are asleep to take one anyway. Even if we could afford a babysitter, we haven't able to find one.
    So I feel for you, and yeah...I'd tell the parents to back off. Nicely, of course. lol
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 3:35 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Oh wow, your situation is much worse than mine! I'm sorry!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Doesn't your toddler sleep? When he does, do your grown-up thing. I like being on the internet, watching shows like Dexter or Harper's Island that I don't want my 20 month old watching, having a glass of wine, or cooking. :)
    soflashelley

    Answer by soflashelley at 8:47 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • There is NOTHING wrong with having a little "Mommy time".. If I didn't have my mommy time I really wouldn't know what I would do.. I love my 1 year old and my 2 year old very much.. BUT I also love to miss them sometimes... As for your parents.. Ask your mom if she ever had to do it alone.. I bet she didn't
    Hotchick1604

    Answer by Hotchick1604 at 11:12 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with enjoying a little quiet time to yourself, but toddlers sleep more hours than adults, so that should leave you a few hours at night to relax, right? Free time is one of those things sacrificed when you decide to have children. I'm not single, but I do like time alone or time with just my husband, and the best way for us to accomplish that is when our eight children are in bed at night. Then we know they have been taken care of and had all of their needs met, but we still get what we feel we need also. Even though we aren't in the same situation as you, we have made the choice to be there for our children (primarily me since I stay home with them) when they are awake. Almost every date we have is done after they are all in bed. We decided it was worth the sacrifice for them to know they are loved by us, and it also alleviates worrying that they are burning the house down while we're out! LOL!
    MyGiftsFromGod

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 2:46 AM on May. 31, 2010

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