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For those who have left their husbands....

How did you do it? Did you kick him out of the house or did you you leave yourself. Did he make a big scene and get mad? I am starting to get really scared of my husband. For the past 2-3 weeks, he has been very angry and the slightest thing sets him off. He hates being around our son and even tells him so. I do not want to raise my child in this environment, but I am not sure how to leave. What did you do? How did you explain it to your children? Thanks in Advance!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • It sounds as if your husband is in a bad place. You didn't mention how he has reacted prior to the last few weeks. However, if he is angry, he could become violent. I agree that you should leave, but you need to have a plan first. Make sure you have some money put aside for you and your son to live on. Find a place to live - make arrangements before you leave. If you fear that he will become violent, get a restraining order. If he threatens you, call 911. Document all communication with him.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 3:34 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I haven't left my husband, but my parents divorced when I was a kid and there is no "easy" way to tell a kid. The best way is to tell them strait, "mommy and daddy will live in separate homes". Just make sure you tell them, several times that it's not their fault and there is nothing they could have done to prevent it. And depending on how old your kids are and how attuned they are to the situation, be prepared for them to be angry at the one who left, whether that is you leaving w/the kid, or your husband leaving. It's only temporary, and it's not real hatred, even if they say they hate you. Trust me, I was there, I said it, I didn't mean it. The anger lasted for about a week, 2 tops.
    If you don't have family or friends you can stay with, contact a women's shelter in your area and tell them what's going on. You need to get out before the abuse goes from verbal to physical.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:27 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I've not left my husband, but do whatever you think might be easiest to leave without him knowing

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • The kids knew why I left. They were scared of him too and they liked that we left and went somewhere he couldn't find us. I tried staying in the house and kicking him out but he kept coming back so I saved up and got out while he was at work.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:01 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I had my STBX move out and we told our son that daddy was moving to another house and he was living here with mommy and he will visit daddy all the time and although we won't be married anymore (he's just about 5), we are always mommy and daddy and nothing in the world is more important than us taking care of him and keeping him happy, healthy and safe (our catch phrase over the years he knows well).

    Best wishes.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:33 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Please do not make my mistake! don't tell him a word of what you are doing! What they dont know won't hurt him! but will only hurt you if they know! Put your son first. Just leave. Friends, Family, shelters! You can do it! BE SAFE!

    Answer by JuneWestling at 12:19 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • When my husband and i seperated 2yrs ago i told him im advance that i was moving and he helped me pack. we knew it was what we needed. he knew where we went and even watched the kids at my place. but he wasnt/isnt abusive. do whats right for u and ur son

    Answer by renniemom3 at 11:42 AM on Jun. 1, 2010