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why do people say such awful things about big families?

i hear it all the time. if a couple has a lot of kids people will stare and say they're using the kids to get welfare or they'll say that the parents are perverts who advertize their sex life with all those kids. it's heartbreaking that ppl are so closed minded. my husband and i both come from big families, 5 kids on my side and 7 on his side and we love having a lot of siblings. we too wanna have a lot of kids just because big families are so close but i'm afraid of the judgement that we are gonna get that our parents got when we were kids.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on May. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (38)
  • Because people ASSume too much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • My mom had 5 sisters and 4 brothers. My grandparents didn't collect welfare.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 7:25 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I have never heard that. I do think it is surprising to most because life is just so expensive today.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • big families are great--IF you can afford them. But I can say that about kids in general. If you can't afford them, don't have them (whether it's 1 or 20). If you can and you are happy with that many, more power to you I say!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I have 5. We are not on welfare, I don't care what anyone says to be honest with you, They are mine and i love them all. So really if anyone has a problem they can go piss up a rope.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I have never heard to Pervert sex life one - that's a bit much LOL We have four kids and tyhe most common comment was "didn't you figure out how it happened before??" I also got asked if she was planned ( a bit of an age gap) If I had a new partner? Told I couldn't keep having them just because I like little babies - My answer to all was a sweet smile and the reply " We just enjoy being a family" There is very little anyone c
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 7:29 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • whoops! There is very little anyone can reply to that without looking like an ass! In my head of course I was thinking "who the f*** do you think you are to question my choices?" we have never received welfare, none were 'accidents' , they are happy respectful kids - how does it affect their lives anyway?
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 7:32 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Agreed myheartx4
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • To me a big family that raises eyebrows is 9 or more kids... I wouldn't think 5 or 6 would raise any questions-but you learn something new everyday. I have no issues with large families-but I am not one that celebrates families like: Jon and Kate, Octomom or the Duggars. Its not the size of their families that I have an issue with-its the media attention surrounding them that gives me pause. When I see real life families with 6 or so kids I just think-YIKES-thats a lot of laundry!
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 8:17 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • The only thing I've ever thought about big families is how much I admire those parents with the large happy brood walking with them. Those things you mentioned, OP, I've never heard before and, personally, I think it is rude of people to say such things or ask such questions about your personal life. Is nothing sacred anymore?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on May. 30, 2010

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