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im 22 years old. how do i tell my controlling mom that the baby dad wants to be there when the baby is born. how do i tell her without it being an argument or her giving me an ultimatum? i just dont want any problems on delivery day but i know in my heart it will be some confrontation.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • are you the one who posted before about thinking about moving out of her mom's house? well anyway - it's your choice. you're an adult, it's your baby, it's your decision. you don't need to be stressed out about your mom wanting it to be about her - doubt she was there when the baby was made, it's only fair that the person who was there with you is in the room if you want that and he does.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:47 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • He's the father, he has every right to be there, and I wouldn't even discuss it with her. Just let him know when and where when the time comes and he needs to be there at that time. In the moment, hopefully she'll be too busy being worried about you, to be worried about him. I'd the let the hospital know prior that HE IS ALLOWED, and YOUR OK with him BEING THERE! It isn't up to your controlling mother!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • do you live with her or are you financially dependant on her? Why does she command such control if you are 22? Just tell her the Daddy will be there. It is your baby, his baby and you can have whoever you want there. And the sooner you tell her the better. If you go to her with this all meek and apologetic, then she will argue , if you say it with some strength and determination she might listen to you as an adult, rather than a toddler. The only exception is if Daddy has been abusive prior to this, then I can understand why she would want to discourage you, however , even then, it is your choice, not hers
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 9:42 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Yep what the PP said. She doesn't get to decide who is in the delivery room you do. And the nurses will be more than happy to throw her out of the room if you don't want her there.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:44 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Do YOU want him there? Forget your mother and him, what do YOU want? If YOU want him there, let him be there. Just tell both of them not to start anything. If they do, have the nurse escort them out. Its YOUR decision.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 9:45 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Im going to focus on your relationship with the baby dadddy. Whats going on there, you didnt fill us in. Is he an on again off again kind of guy or has he been in real trouble here? Has there been dv issues between you and him? Im just going to throw this out now, just in case. If he was arrested for dv on you, if he shows up in the delivery room, they will take baby away from you. Thats a what if answer that Im hoping has not happened here. IF he is a good guy, mom can wait outside
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • he is the dad, he has every right to be there. part of being a parent and growing up is standing up for yourself. even if it is to your own parents. " speeck your mind even if your voice shakes." you have to stand up for YOUR family. and the baby's dad is part of that. most docs allow more then one person in the room, unless you have a c-section. i had a c section and the rest of my family was pissed at me for it. they wanted to be there when our daughter was born. i ended up in surgery and only my wife was in the room. she held our daughter first. and when i got out of surgery and the doc brought me our baby in my room, we kept it just us 3 for about an hour. my family was so mad, my grandmother left and went home before getting to meet her. all i could say to them was GROW UP. i know it is hard but you are a mom now, time to take a stand. even if it is against the hardest ppl in the world. much love to you momma!
    Preggydyke

    Answer by Preggydyke at 9:56 PM on May. 30, 2010

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