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Question for those that are not "white" but grew up in a majority white area.

We live in a majority white area. It seems the few kids that are not white talk about their race quite a bit and my son seems to play along. It does not seem OK to me. Am I being overly sensitive or is my son playing into stereotypes? Did you "joke" about your race to fit in but it secretly hurt your feelings? Example: an Asian kid that says he gets good grades because he is Asian. An African American kid joking that he is fast because he is African American. Am I interjecting adult feelings on to these teens?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on May. 30, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • OP I think that you are being too serious about it right now and he probably wont understand. they are only joking around and no one is getting upset or offended. if they were playing basketball and your son ws like listen to my play i know what im talking about im black, then most everyone would have laughed about it instead of making a big deal of a race joke.

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:13 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • I know minority people who live in minority areas and still joke about their race. It's just a sense of humor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • No, never, what is so funny about it? A teacher I work with is a red head, and she always refer to herself as Gingergirl, but she jokes about it, that is it, but I never knew of anyone who would do that.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 10:01 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • they aren't using the negative stereotypes? i think thats a positive. they know how to joke in life. not a bad thing. (i'm white... grew up in africa.)

    Answer by gracefulsky at 10:01 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • No I also dont think its ok,I wouldn't let my kids play with someone that made them feel insecure about their race! its not right and it makes the child think theres something wrong with them because of their race or I think they start feeling like they fit into the ignorant stereotypes of a certain race

    Answer by mommy16love at 10:02 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • Mommy-my question is: if the other kid jokes about his race is it OK for my son to play into the joke as well? He had a friend over working on a project-the kid was Asian-the kid kept saying "listen to me, I'm Asian-I know what I am talking about" and my son was like "you're right, we will do it your way". I was so uncomfortable with the conversation but not sure why. These are High School boys so I am wondering, am I just being over sensitive or are kids these days just so much more secure or is it a defense mechanism and I should teach my son to steer clear of these types of conversations....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • A teacher I work with is a red head, and she always refer to herself as Gingergirl, but she jokes about it,

    That is what I am talking about-self depreciating humor... what to do about that?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • you can pm me if you want but i was the ONLY black kid at my school, from kindergarten until about 9th grade. everyone else was white. and as strange as it sounds it helps ease the tension. racism is out there, and it is better to make fun of yourself and play along than to be the butt of the joke. and once people see that you joke about it yourself, they cany use it against you. i was overweight also and i would joke with my friends that i was their big black girl bodyguard that could scare anybody. its like your cant pick on the kids with glasses if he already calls himself foureyes!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:11 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • i think you prob are being overly sensitive. im white and i have a good friend whos spanish, and we joke with eachother all the time. like she'll call me white trash, ill talk about her eating rice and beans every day for dinner, or ill call her a spic, she'll call me a cracker. im not sure why ... its just funny. she calls me her caucasian queen & i call her my puerto rican princess. i know that racism does still exist, but not much. at least not in the newer generations, so its easier for us and our kids to joke about it to where you might take it more seriously because maybe you remember more the effects of slavery or whatever bothers you about racism in the past.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:31 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • secondtyme-thank you for your insight! My son is a great kid and I could not imagine he cares about race at all otherwise why would he be friends with everyone regardless of race. The kids all seems perfectly happy with each other and the conversations they have. Teens seem to joke about everything from a new haircut to shoes, to whatever! I thought maybe I was interjecting adult feelings (or the inability to laugh at yourself as we get older!) on to these kids- I just wanted to get a feel of what others thought. The majority of our area is white-but it seems that the few "minorities" we do have seem to be right at home. I think its because we are all of the same income and general family background-two working parents, kids into sports, go to church on Sunday-typical middle class stuff....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on May. 30, 2010

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