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I found out recently that my birth mom was raped,,,,and so here I am

Have you ever dealt with something that is beyond comprehension, that left you totally raw? How do I recover from this and move on? My dh is my ex now, so I cant rely on him. This is the first time I have talked about this in a long, long time. Its amazing what this answer section brings out from us!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on May. 30, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • So I take it that you were adopted? Im sorry that you dont have anyone to talk to, if you dont mind me asking, when and how did you find this out? do you have any close friends you can talk to? You need to talk to someone hun, Im sorry you had to find that out, sometimes some things are better left not knowing. Do you know your birth mom.
    bellamommyof4

    Answer by bellamommyof4 at 11:41 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • i'm really sorry. i was raped when i was 17 so yes i've been through things that are hard to comprehend. when something like this happens it's hard to move on because it takes time for you to deal with everything. talking to someone a friend,family,or therapist will help. you can talk to me if you need someone. i know you don't know who i am but i'm here if you need someone.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 11:47 PM on May. 30, 2010

  • you should be glad she loved you enough to not abort. atleast you have something to be thankful for.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • i really have no words of wisdom or comfort beyond "i'm so very sorry you are going thru this".

    i was raped years ago, got pregnant as a result, and gave the child up for adoption. It was a private adoption; i met his parents, learned a little about them, knew where they lived, etc. One worry for me all of these years has been "if he ever contacts me, and asks about the circumstances of his birth, etc....what the heck will i tell him?"

    Neither side is in an enviable position. My heart goes out to you.
    inkydorei

    Answer by inkydorei at 1:01 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Sounds as tho your Bio mom put you up for adoption, is this correct? My reply would be.... This changes nothing about you, it does not take away all of the things you accomplished over the years. It should not take away your dreams or hopes, it does not lesson you as a person. It was how you where conceived, thats all, nothing more, nothing less.. You have no controll over this nor can you change it. That is important to understand because no matter what it will never change, so you must see yourself for the person you are NOT how you came to be... We all have a crappy past one way or another, or things that happened to us as children that can't be changed, all we can do is see we can't do anything about it and move on !!!! I was raped and molested, it is not who I am, it is what happened to me. It will only take your power if you let it....Stand strong my dear.

    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 1:29 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Be thankful that she loved you enough to give you life and to find you a family that would love you just as much as she did. Your experiences shape your life and make you who you are, not the circumstances of how we all came to be.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on May. 31, 2010

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