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How do you handle the situation with your 10 year old son who wants to wear my bras and panties? I'm not sure how to handle it.. Does anyone have some advice?

My 10-year old was home alone for a few hours and when I came home I noticed that things in my dresser were messed up I asked him if he was in there of course he said he was looking for something. Come to find out he was putting on my bra and panties. I tried to talk to him about this to ask him why he was doing it but all I can get out of him is "I Don't Know". I'm not sure how to handle much less what to say to say to him. Is this a phase? Or should I be concerned?



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Asked by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on May. 31, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (9)
  • well if it were my son I would hand the situation over to his dad....his dad is a calm person who can reason out any situation... I would not hand this over to a man who would be harsh with the boy.

    Recently my daughters friend came out of the closet and said that ever since he was 5 yrs old he knew he was gay..he is now 18.
    I guess if I had to handle this on my own i would just ask him about his feelings...not what he was thinking.
    I would ask..."how did it make you feel to try on my things, and be honest I won't be mad"
    and "how do you feel about my things now, now that I know you were trying them on"...give him a hug and let him know you won't tell anyone and that he can come to you about anything because your love is unconditional

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • It could just be a phase. He is getting to an age where the girls in his class are starting to wear bras and he is probably just curious. I agree and would just sit down and talk to him..and let him know you aren't freaked out by it but are just curious as to what he wanted to get out of wearing them? I wouldn't be concerned!

    Answer by dbodani at 2:42 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • lol at the comment above me...sorry I just laughed. not being mean but are you serious? He wants to see what its like to be a girl? No I would assume he may be gay, point blank. However I dont know how I would handle that one alone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I agree that he could have been just curious. It doesn't mean he's gay and it doesn't mean he's not gay. I would talk to him as calmly as possible and ask him how he was feeling etc. I would want to let my child know that I was there to listen no matter what he might have to say and that the love in unconditional.

    Answer by TraceNspace at 7:29 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • When I was about 4, I went through a phase where I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to wear boys clothes and everything. It was completely a phase that didn't last. I'm not sure what you should do about it though, honestly.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 9:06 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Crossdressing isn't necessarily about sexual orientation. I would talk to him about whether he feels like he is meant to be a boy or a girl. He might be transgender. If he is and you need someone to talk to message me anytime.

    Answer by purpleducky at 11:33 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • He could be gay...or trans-gender as someone said...or he could just become aroused at wearing women's underwear as a fetish. There are plenty of straight men who feel they ARE meant to be men who just enjoy the feel of women's underwear as a means of getting turned on for sex. Either way, talk to him again. As someone said...ask how he felt trying on your things. Let him know you will be understanding and matter what his reasons.

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 11:44 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I wouldn't make an issue out of it. If it's a phase, he will phase out of it on his own. If it's something he ends up doing later on in life, there's nothing you can do about that. There's nothing to be concerned about, just watchful, because he may have questions, need advice, or support.

    Answer by BaisMom at 1:50 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • i wouldnt assume hes gay. maybe but dont jump to conclusions. he could be a very straight cross dresser. it starts at a young age, usually by trying on moms clothes. all you can do is talk to him be supportive and let him know you love him no matter who he is. :)

    Answer by niki_m1378 at 11:45 AM on Sep. 13, 2010

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