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So confused about my relationship. I need understanding people for advice please.

I feel horrible for saying this. This is not like me to think this way. But I don't know what to do. I love my fiance, he is the father of my child and we have been together for 6 years. The thing is, I don't know if I can be with him anymore. He is mean sometimes - not in an abusive way- just mean as in I have my doubts that he really loves me. I am thinking if he can find a better woman to suit him, he would. I don't doubt that he could be looking. I want to leave this relationship, but he is all I have ever known. I dn't think I can find anyone else on my own. And I don't want to be alone. So I was seriously considering signing up on a dating website, or visiting chat rooms to see if I can't meet someone. But I think I would feel too guilty to do that. I don't think I can bring myself to do this. Also I am afraid of the danger. But I just don't know what to do. I am not pretty enough to find anyone else.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I am just looking for any advice here. I feel completely lost and alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • communication is essential for a good relationship. sit down and talk to him about this. see how he feels. if he wants to work on things and so do you there is no reason to end the relationship.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:31 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Thank you for your response. That's part of the problem. He never wants to talk about our relationship. When I have brought up the way I feel to him, he says its all in my head and there is nothing wrong with our relationship. He acts as if it's not a big deal. I have brought up counseling, and he just laughs about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Are you sure you're not just freaked out about getting married? Let me just tell you every woman is better than any man so saying you're not pretty enough is not a reason to stay in a relationship. I think that you need to work a little more on yourself and stop looking to men for confirmation. They're not responsible enough to have that much power. You're good enough, you're pretty enough and can do anything you want, if you want to. Don't get married because you feel like you have no other options and don't leave because you want to leave him before he leaves you.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 1:35 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • You have a low self esteem !you need to stop feeling sorry for your self, and know that if he didn't want to marry you he would not ask you to marry him' you are the one being mean to him. You need to talk to him and let him know how you feel that he wanted any one in the whole wide world why YOU and then listen to him really listen to him
    See if that helps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • my best advice is, do not go on dating sites or looking for another relationship while you are still together. before i got married, my fiance and i were having some problems, but he wouldnt tell me everything. one day he left his password up in his email, and i have had suspitions of him cheating on me, so i went in his email while he was at work. and he was looking for other people. i called him up and confronted him. long story short, we had a lot we had to work on together. i told him more that i appreciate him and let him know what is on my mind. we still argue about stupid things, like me going to the doctors and not wanting to, but i am now trying to fix a trust issue with him, and i know he stopped doing what he was doing. you just need to spice up your love life. maybe he is mean at times because he doesnt feel like you love him, try showing him more and maybe he will too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Counseling. STAT.

    If a counselor's help leads you to find that you should NOT be with him, DO NOT sign up for a dating site.. Work on YOU. Learn who YOU are without a man. Strong women know the answer to that....they know themselves and then they find worthwhile men.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:27 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • If you have already decided that you don't want to be with him, end things with him before you move on with someone else. Treat him how you would want to be treated so that you don't have regrets down the road.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on May. 31, 2010

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