Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

dont know if i want to be in this relationship anymore. been together almost 2 years.

the problem: last night, i really needed him, and he never showed (still hasnt- we talked on the phone for less than 2 minutes the entire day.. i texted him that i was mad at him, he didnt care).

~ he's always at the bars (why he never came last night), and he's there again tonight. he doesnt have that kind of $. what if he goes to the bars when/if we get married/living together like how he does now? (3-4 times a week, out with the boys the other nights too- i usually only get 1-2 nights a week)

~ i dont think he's ready to be a family man. not a husband type, or even father figure type.

i'm beginning to think that he really doesnt care about me. i'm about to write him an email (something that i really dont want to do- but how else am i supposed to contact him!?) and just let it all out.

but i really dont know if i wanna be with him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 AM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Is that who you want your kids to see and look up to? I would ditch him! Your kids need someone who will be around to help them!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 2:39 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I would get rid of him. MOST people don't change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • hmm-- i should add that he's 23 years old. i'm 21 with a 4 year old boy. not sure if that matters or not. usually, he's really good. i dont care about the bar thing (or i didnt), i didnt really acknowledge his lack of family desire (he says he wants it- but i dont think he will truly want one for at least 10 years).... he's there for me when i need him, but its also that i dont ever go to him. i have this thing about being weak- never be weak- and me needing him/asking him to come over, showed my weak side that i will NEVER show him again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Needing him and allowing him to see that does not mean you are weak. In you 1st post you mentioned how he is always out drinking or hanging with the boys which bothered you, then you replied to say that it doesnt/didnt bother you. You then stated that you needed him last night but he didnt bother and then say that he is there when you need him to be.To me, you should leave and want to leave but dont want to be the "bad" guy here. Been there, done that. You are just making excuses to stay. Dont be afraid to be alone. You deserve to have much more respect than what he has shown you.
    TLW514

    Answer by TLW514 at 2:57 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • Sounds like you deserve better and that your investing more into the relationship than he is......I would walk away if you believe this to be true... if its just a phase and he does want to settle down with you it shouldnt take to long for him to realise and snap out of it once you show him your serious about not putting up with it......if he doesnt then its not a phase and it will be something that will always be an issue in your relationship.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:58 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • You care more than he does. I have a feeling if you didn't contact him at all, he wouldn't notice.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:26 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I agree with gdiamante, tell him that its over however you can get ahold of him and then walk away. If he really wants you he will realise what went wrong and try to fix it if not then you're better off without him. Also you are pretty enough to find someone else believe me there are plenty of guys out there but if you believe that you're not then they will see that and stay away you need to work on yourself before finding another man. We all have our moments of weakness though and most women I'm sure has felt that way about themselves at some point. Goodluck !!
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 12:03 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I agree with dbodani.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 7:47 PM on May. 31, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.