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Childrens Participation in the Wedding of there Fathers new lady.

If a woman never gets her dream come true of having her children participate as either a ring bearer, flower girl or bridesmaid at the wedding to the Father of there children they had together out of wedlock. Because of the Fathers refusal to marry the Mother of there children

And then the Father splits up with the Mother of his children. And plans on having the children he made out of wedlock with his old partner, to participate as either a ring bearer, flower girl or bridesmaid in his wedding to his new female partner.

What would yout thoughts be on the issue. If the childrens biological Mother did not want her children she made with the Father out of wedlock, to not participate as either a ring bearer, flower girl or bridesmaid at the wedding of there Father and his new female partner?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • The Father wanting, his children from a previous relationship to be apart of the wedding, because he is selfish enough to use children he had from a previous relationship from a woman he did not love, to make his wedding day one of happiness for both himself, and his new lady by making it known to the children how wonderful the children would feel if they, took part in the marriage of the childrens father to a new lady. In order for the Father of the children from a previous relationship with a woman, to make himself, his new lady and the children appear as a family unit by the children taking part in the Fathers marriage to his new lady.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I don't know...I can certainly understanding NOT wanting the whole thing to happen, but thinking of the kids, maybe it is for the best to be supportive! Wouldn't it be strange for a father to get married without the involvement of his children? I am just thinking that the children should be there, a part of this big day in their father's life. Not such a great day for mom, but....I just think you have to think about the kids!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 8:28 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I understand not wanting it to happen, and being uncomfortable about it.. But they are his children too..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 8:57 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • One more thing.. Whoever this is needs to think about how her children would feel about this, and put her own feelings aside..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 8:58 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I understand how the Mother of the said children is hurt, betrayed, but she should NOT use the children as a tool to get back at the the Father of the children. Refusal to allow the children to participate in the Father's wedding would be using them as a tool to hurt the Father of the children. If the Father is getting married then "his" children should be allowed to participate in that wedding, even if that wedding is does not involve the Mother of the children. I know this is going to be hard for the Mother, but she will have to move on with her own life and find a man that is worth her love and respect. Some day she can hope to find a different man to marry, a man that would want to marry her, and then she can have "her" children participate in wedding to her new man. If she gives the father hell now for wanting the kids in HIS wedding, he can do the same later if she choose to marry Mr. Right. What goes around comes....
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:59 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I would think it's no ones business but the Father... If that's what he wants and the children are okay with it, then it's no one elses place to decide, or add their 2 cents on...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:22 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • I can understand that the mother would feel hurt by this. BUT, honestly, I think this is a case where the mother needs to just suck it up and keep it to herself - NOT for the sake of the father, and not for the sake of his new woman. I think this for the sake of the kids. Because, whether the mom likes it or not, the kids are going to be a part of the family that the father and his new wife are making together, just as much as they're still part of the family with the mom.

    The kids need to be able to feel that they are still important to their Dad, and that they are an important part of that family, and that they are still and always will be loved by ALL the adults in their lives - their Mom, Dad, and now, their new Stepmom. So, for the sake of the kids, I think that the best and most gracious thing would be to smile and send them off to be part of the wedding.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:24 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • cont

    Look at it this way - if the mom was to meet someone new and fall in love, would she want the kids left out of HER wedding, because the man she was marrying wasn't their father? Of course not! They're her kids, they are important to her, they're an important part of her family, and she would want to share the day with them - for her sake AND for their sakes.

    Same thing here - he's their father, and it's important for them to have a good relationship with him, and to be included in his wedding.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:26 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • mom...this really really hurts doesnt it? that jerk marrying someone else, what he couldnt ive you...I am truly sorry. that being said, you will NOT always hurt this bad and once the wound heals you will really regret not being the bigger person and letting this happen. they are his kids,a nd they will feel left out and bad if they are not included. it will be so damn hard but let it happen, be bigger than you want to be. saying no could have a domino effect that effects your childrens lives with dad forever.a nd take it from someone who has a child living with his father and his girlfriend, you want that girlfriend/wife/whatever to have a good relationship w ith the kids. the alternative is a very hard road for the kids, and its heartbreaking to watch. (hugs) its gonna be ok, hang in there.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:20 AM on May. 31, 2010

  • It seems to me some women would want the chance to marry a man who had children from a previous relationship with a woman, if they a man who fathered children from a prior relationship, is all what they wanted in a man. And these women marrying a man with children from a precious relationship would would want another womans children to be seen at her wedding to her new partner, so she could feel happy seeing another womans children and the childrens Father could be seen as a family unit on her wedding day to the Father of children that belong to another woman .

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

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