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idk anymore

Idk what to do husband and i are constantly arguing about everything and it is makin me consider splitting up bcuz my daughter is 22 months and i just dont want her around yelling and fighting. idk how to make it better. he is so stubborn that he only thinks what he thinks is correct and the only way we should go. but i dont kno. what should i do bcuz i dont wanna spilt up im jus tired of us arguin. are we always gonna be like this? idk...


Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Please don't listen to people telling you that your child is young enough for you to just walk away. She would most certainly feel the loss of her father and it's also not fair to you. If you don't get this worked out now with this man, you'll probably just go on to the next one and have some of the same problems. Tell him that you're feeling like you need to go to counseling and you'd like him to go with you. If he won't, then go by yourself. Believe it or not, it can help. And get the film "Fireproof" and watch it with him one night. Could open up a space for the two of you to discuss things. Do it now, don't wait.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 6:15 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • have you tried couple's counseling? I know getting involved in the church and getting right in our hearts spiritually has done amazing things in my marriage that wasn't bad to begin with but now is awesome. Good luck honey. Don't give up.

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 3:57 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Arguing is a normal part of marriage. The key is to learn how to argue politely. You don't have to yell and scream or even get mad. It takes practice of self-control to learn this art, but it is very learnable. Also, we wives often tend to object to everything in the same way. Try varying your approach. Husbands and wives seem to automatically hit the buttons to start an argument. All it takes is for one person not to take the bait. Your child needs to learn early in life that disagreements are something one cannot avoid. But she will learn from you how to handle conflict. You might even get a good book to read on the topic. I think Charles Stanley may even have one by the title HOW TO HANDLE CONFLICT or something very similar to that. You don't need to give up. You just need to think about ways you can change your approach. Disagreements with your spouse are opportunities for growth as a couple.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:57 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Chances are he won't change. Your child is young enough not to feel the split a whole lot. Do you love him? Do you want to be subservient to him your whole life? I'd consider leaving.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • The situation is stressful having little kids and parenting and cleaning. All that goes along with it is crazy. So take a deep breath and ask you self why did you marry this guy? Get back to the root of why you got together in the first place.
    I went through a tough time with my husband too. We both grew up and matured and figured out what really matters. Parenting our kids and taking care of our relationship. It is give and take though. So think it over and talk to him.
    Some of the arguments are simply about not letting go of your self. Some of it is I want my way. Others times it is simply because we disagree. At some point you have to work as a team.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 5:46 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • All you can do is change yourself. I agree with the last two posts. You two can work it out. My husband and I went through a horrible time when we were first marrried and my daughter was young. I was in a very similar situation, and my husband is a very stubborn man (believe it or not its a quality I have grown to admire about him) We fought almost daily, it was awful. I hated myself I hated my marriage. Then it occured to me I only had three options. Leave, keep living life the same, or do something about it. We had gotten to the point where my husband wasnt going to do anything for our relationship (he wasnt going to leave, but he did leave mentally) I read about the love dare, it goes along with the movie fireproof that the previous poster recomended, and I started doing it, by myself. I knew he wouldnt try anything. Well it worked. I didnt tell him I was doing it. When my attitude changed, his did to. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I second the Love DAre, and renting the movie, fireproof. We did it and it really helped. Good luck, don't let anyone tell you it's ok to leave and give up or that your child is young enough that's crap, if you love him, or ever did love him, stay and fight for the marriage you always dreamed of. It is possible.

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 10:16 PM on May. 31, 2010