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How do I teach my 3 month old son that it's okay that other people hold him?

My 3 month old son cries every time I let someone else hold him other than myself or my husband. I know he is still so young but we can't seem to go anywhere without him screaming and crying when I let another family member take him for a few minutes. I let them hold him and I try to talk to him and tell him it's okay. I also try not to take him back right away because then he will think it's not okay for other people to hold him. I love him and want him to be comfortable with people other than just me and my husband. He's such a happy baby at home but not when we leave (and he is not isolated here. I take him out a few times a week to get him used to it). Please help! We leave for MT to see my husband's family and I'm sure other people are going to want to see him and hold him and it's already going to be a huge change for him from our house. I just want my baby to stay happy like he is when he's home! I need some advice!!


Asked by BraydonsMama262 at 4:07 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • The best thing to do is keep trying. When you see someone who wants to hold him, act excited about this person.. your son will eventually pick up from you that you like this person and that they are safe to be around.

    Try to quell any anxiety you have about your son crying when other people hold him. If you cringe before you give him to someone because you are afraid he will start crying, he's not going to know you are cringing because of his insecurities, he only knows something is bothering you... so just act excited and happy, and sooner or later he will pick up on it and be fine :)

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 4:28 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • You really can't. That is something he needs to grow into. He's normal. He doesn't know that others won;t let him be eaten by a saber tooth tiger. **grin** Babies aren't very evolved from Cave Baby days!

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:09 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • You can't. He's normal. Your relatives will live. I promise. Mine survived! If the baby doesn't want others don't force the issue; always go get him! That said, babies are more amiable in the morning after a good feed, you might try a hand off then or when napping..

    Answer by amileegirl at 4:17 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • All babies go through this phase, where they don't want anyone but mommy, and maybe daddy.....and like gdiamante said it's just normal. To be honest, I think its okay for them to be a little uncomfortable when people they don't know hold them anyway. I don't think they should be too comfortable with strangers, unfortunately, that means that they may not be comfortable with friends and family that they don't know either.

    When I pick up a baby, if they aren't comfortable I totally understand that, and don't take offense. Most people understand that all babies can be a little uncomfortable with people they don't know, so don't worry too much about it, they outgrow it.

    Do make sure that they spend plenty of time with other people beside you and their dad, so they develop social skills, but don't worry at your baby's age, this is TOTALLY NORMAL!

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:19 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Have you tried making a blanket or just a basic "teddy bear" with yours and his shirt combined? It might be the scent of you that is extremely comforting to him.
    You can also try and let one family member gradually start to hold him. Like.. play with his toes, and massage his legs, while you're holding him. Both you and family member can laugh and talk to him, letting him know that you're having fun, and he shouldn't be alarmed in any way. When he finally manages to make it to the family member without a fuss, praise him. Clap, and smile, etc etc.

    Those are the two things that I can really think of.. :]
    If you're going to be there for a while, being around the family members might ease him a bit too.

    Good luck!!

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 4:20 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • just let them hold him & stand right there...

    Answer by maiahlynn at 4:24 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I did not force this issue and my son loves other people now.

    It's a phase.. Forcing the issue could cause even more clingy behavior... Just keep your baby happy for now.. When she actually understands things like "other people are okay" and "mommy is busy" you can be more forceful .. But that won't happen til she's quite a bit older. My 22 month old is great now with this. He is awesome with other people holding, talking, touching him if I give him time to warm up to them and assure him they are safe. Anyone. Even stranger family members we see once a year. And I NEVER made / forced him be held by someone else.. and I never will.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:30 PM on May. 31, 2010